I probably took just a dozen business trips as an associate (I travel much more frequently now as an in-house lawyer). A dozen is also about the total number of hours I actually spent working on all those flights combined. I just never could pass up the “free” travel billables, even if it meant working all night on arrival.

A more or less typical trip, described after the jump.

In the First Class Cabin

Warm nuts and an effete flight steward,
A glass of real champagne (before takeoff!).
Heady days for a first-year associate used to flying Southwest.
Of course, the rationale was I would be briefing the partner for
the next day’s deposition.
But 30 minutes, six drinks and what may have been a Xanax later, he’s snoring
And I am looking at nine hours of free billables and an open bar.
Shame about that deposition though;
Turns out adequate preparation is not that overrated.


Qui Tam, a weekly column of poetry about the legal profession, is penned by an arrogant T1 law graduate, former Biglaw associate, and current in-house lawyer. You can reach Qui Tam by email: quitammer@hotmail.com.


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