Biglaw, Email Scandals, Partner Issues, Rudeness

Did This Biglaw Partner Act Like A Big Tool? Let's Discuss

Is this partner's firm-wide email awful, or entertaining, or both?

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KIRKLAND & ELLIS — EMAIL FROM PARTNER KENNETH MORRISON

From: Kenneth P. Morrison
Date: May 14, 2014 at 12:35:34 PM CDT
To: [D.C. Associate], [California Of Counsel], [London Associate]
Cc: #FW Attorneys [firm-wide email distribution]
Subject: RE: RFI: Trademark transfers, Customs Requirements and NJ Litigation Attorney

Wow! What a morning. Within an hour of arriving in the office, I had been personally solicited (along with every other attorney in the Firm) via RFIs for 3 topics about which it is clear that all of us needed to be solicited:

– transferring a trademark
– avoiding customs requirements
– lawyering up for a frivolous litigation matter in New Jersey

It is, of course, quite appropriate to check in with everyone in the Firm, because we are all very eager to help each other. I suppose this is the embodiment of the platitudes that we heard at the share partner meeting last weekend, where so many of our recent lateral hires from Simpson, Thacher (a/k/a “Kirkland’s AAA farm club”, though I can never remember whether it is “Thacher” or “Thatcher”) kept expressing the view that people at Kirkland could not be more welcoming or willing to pitch in. Now those laterals are getting a chance to see just how often we want them to pitch in, even if they probably know nothing about a subject!

Personally, I would have been inclined to send these RFIs to smaller groups of people:

>> Trademarks. I did a quick Google search, and I learned from that search that a trademark is a kind of “intellectual property.” Fascinating! Then I looked on www.kirkland.com, and to my amazement found that we have an “Intellectual Property” practice. Amazing! Then I fooled around by putting “#FW Intell” into the “To” line on my email, and found out that there were many different email distribution lists for Intellectual Property lawyers, even including a list of lawyers who just practice “Transactional” intellectual property law. Truly unbelievable!

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>> Customs Requirements. Is it just me, or is there a flavor to the RFI on this topic that the “travelers from Germany” who are soliciting this advice have some possibly inappropriate motives? No doubt I am leaping to inappropriate conclusions, but I’m just wanting to give the best advice possible. Anyway, I went back to the Kirkland website and did a search for “customs,” and it gave me 27 results. Awesome! I even found out that we have an International Trade practice, and the practice description uses the word “customs” 12 times. Maybe those lawyers would be helpful on this topic? But, then again, I’m probably thinking too parochially. Having heard Andy Calder’s Scottish brogue several times last weekend, I have made the brilliant deduction that he has gone through U.S. Customs at least once in his life — so we definitely want his view. (Indeed, if Scotland votes to secede from the United Kingdom later this year, Andy might even be wanting some of this advice himself, in case he has assets in Scotland that he thinks might not be quite so secure post-secession.) That’s the beauty of using #FW Attorneys.

>> Frivolous NJ Litigation. Just offhand, I would think that Kirkland might have a few attorneys who would be interested in defending a client against a $100 million claim. And, given that we have a New York office, I bet we even have some attorneys who live in New Jersey! (Just in case the sender of the message (who is in our London office) doesn’t know this, New Jersey is right next to New York — but, then, the sender is admitted in New York, so he probably does know that.) As the London office is largely oriented toward transactional work, I will point out for the benefit of our London colleague that we have lots and lots of litigators in the U.S. Maybe a list like “#NY Litigation Attorneys” would be a useful place to start . . .

****************

But I realize that I am not thinking like a team player when I suggest using a more tailored distribution list for an RFI. That just leaves out so many people who want to be part of each and every team here. I believe that the Firm Committee (which seems to have morphed into the “Firmwide Global Executive Management & Strategery Committee” somewhere along the way, according to slide decks at the share partner meeting) has devoted innumerable hours to making Kirkland into a more co-operative place. Not only do we need to avoid saying things like, “Kirkland is a firm of wolves in wolves’ clothing” (E.N., circa 1986), but we need to work hard to find ways to utilize each other’s considerable talents and to share resources.

Still . . . should not we try to be efficient? As a person with some Scots blood myself (although I should let Andy know that my ancestors had the good sense to leave the Butt of Lewis, which might just be the very most remote part of Scotland, some 200 hundred years ago to come to the U.S.), I place a high value on being thrifty. Plus, as any Boy Scout — which apparently does not really include Ted Peto — knows, “thrifty” is also the ninth point of the Scout Law.

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So, in the spirit of saving everyone from having to read yet more RFIs to #FW Attorneys — and with the hope that I can forestall further malicious commentary on them by Bob Wilson — I will hereby solicit your collective guidance on:

The Top 10 Things That Would Otherwise Be in the Next Firmwide RFIs

10. Have you ever moved to vacate an arbitration award?

9. Precedent for a “motion to dismiss” is hereby requested.

8. Does anyone know a good divorce attorney any place in the world?

7. Has anyone ever taken a deposition somewhere?

6. Can you recommend a criminal lawyer in any city in the U.S. for a “friend of the firm”?

5. Do you have a contact at any company anywhere?

4. Whether or not you went to Yale Law School, would you like to make a contribution to it?

3. Does anyone know what is meant by a “reasonably priced attorney”?

2. Would you like to buy a chalk-stripe suit where the chalk stripes actually say “Kirkland & Ellis”?

1. Does anyone have precedent for a contract?

(Astute readers with long memories will recognize that two of the items on this list were actual RFIs to #FW Attorneys. Can you tell which ones?)

Regards,

Ken

Kenneth P. Morrison, P.C.
Kirkland & Ellis LLP | 300 N. LaSalle St., Suite 3100 | Chicago, IL 60654
Internet profile: www.kirkland.com/kmorrison

From: [D.C. Associate]
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 10:20 AM
To: #FW Attorneys
Subject: RFI: Trademark transfers

Pardon the interruption.

If you have experience with drafting agreements for transferring ownership of a trademark, especially in the non-profit context, I would appreciate hearing from you.

Thank you.

[D.C. Associate]

From: [California Of Counsel]
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 8:32 AM
To: #FW Attorneys
Subject: Customs Requirements to Declare Currency

Please let me know if you have any knowledge about the use of wire transfers to avoid customs requirements for declaring currency being brought into the United States. The transfers at issue involved travelers from Germany, although I don’t know whether that affects any of the U.S. legal questions. Many thanks.

Sent from my mobile

[California Of Counsel]

From: [London Associate]
Sent: Wednesday, May 14, 2014 7:44 AM
To: #FW Attorneys
Subject: RFR – NJ Litigation Attorney

Please let me know if you can recommend a litigation attorney in New Jersey to represent a defendant (a Central European television production company) in a defamation claim brought in New Jersey state court. Damages claimed are $100 million, but the defendant believes the claim to be frivolous.

Thank you.

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