Pro Tip For Lawyers: Don't Threaten To 'Anally Rape' Adversary

Has civility gone out of the legal profession?

Sanctimonious attorneys bemoan the decline of civility in the legal practice. The “shark” mentality has eroded the quiet dignity of the second oldest profession (someone had to represent the first prostitute at her arraignment). It’s all a bit overblown — a callback to a halcyon time that never quite was.

Still, there’s something to be said for the fact that Clarence Darrow was never quoted telling William Jennings Bryant “[Bleep] With Me And You Will Have A Huge [Bleep]hole.” I mean, unless I missed that part of the transcript.

And now comes another attorney accused of threatening to violate someone in a most uncomfortable way. Except this time it wasn’t in a one-on-one conversation, but for all the world to see on Facebook….

We’ve seen crazy litigants threaten to rape deponents before. Sorry, to be precise, the litigant allegedly threatened to “tie that thick necked motherf**ker to a pole and f**k him up the ass until he squeals like a pig.” Precision is important. Anyway, seeing a lawyer go down this road with the other side is not as common. And having this happen anywhere besides Texas is almost unheard of.

But authorities arrested Indiana lawyer James Allen Hanson for intimidation after he posted something on Facebook that worried his client’s ex-husband. Specifically:

You pissed off the wrong attorney. You want to beat up women and then play games with the legal system… well then you will get exactly what you deserve. After I get [my client] out of jail I’m going to gather all the relevant evidence and them I’m going to anal rape you so hard your teeth come loose. I tried working with you with respect. Now I’m going to treat you like the pond scum you are. Watch your ass you little [expletive deleted]. I’ve got you in my sights now.

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So hard his teeth come loose? I’m not sure of the lingo but I believe that requires a “power top.”

Hanson represented Nachole Mevis in her divorce from Chad Vice, the gentleman who could soon be loosing his teeth unconventionally. Hanson also represents Mevis in her defense of a domestic battery case brought by Vice.

Not to feed into stereotyping, but if Vice was so afraid of his ex-wife that he filed charges against her I can completely understand being terrified of a lawyer.

Attorney arrested on charge of intimidation [WANE]
Lawyer charged with felony intimidation over Facebook message to client’s ex-husband [ABA Journal]

Earlier: ‘[Bleep] With Me And You Will Have A Huge [Bleep]hole,’ Warns Biglaw Partner
Crazy Texan Litigant Threatens To Beat Up Lawyer, Rape Deponent

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