Biglaw, Blackberry-Crackberry, Technology

Qui Tam: BlackBerry

The first day I started practicing, I walked into my new 40th floor office and found a Blackberry on my desk. Since then, and like many lawyers I am sure, I had hardly ever been without one. So a few weeks ago, when the company I work for abruptly informed us the email servers would no longer be supporting Blackberry devices, I felt a bit unsettled for about 5 minutes until I actually got my hands on my new IPhone (so many wasted years!). But the point is, Blackberry (Crackberry) was the first to literally enthrall so many of us.


I’ve a friend, libertarian as they come,
NRA, Federalist Society, Ayn Rand (really?)
And all that.
You’d think he might be auditioning for the role of
Scalia, J., or something, the way he talked at lunch.
So one day, another soliloquy interrupted
He said, he swore he hated that thing
The holstered beast, his blinking buzzing red-eyed
Monster, his BlackBerry.
He said it’s like I can’t put it down
At work, at home, at play
At night, all day Saturday Sunday fucking Christmas Day!
It’s destroying my life he said.
I don’t disagree, I just was thinking wow
I thought it wasn’t the gun that killed, it was the shooter.
But maybe you know, everyone’s allowed a little illogic
Now and again. Keeps you sane.

Qui Tam, a weekly column of poetry about the legal profession, is penned by an arrogant T1 law graduate, former Biglaw associate, and current in-house lawyer. You can reach Qui Tam by email:

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