Not “on my period.” Nor “one minute please.” I’m talking about “Office Managing Partner.”
Think I saw the initials on a business card once, and knew instantly and certainly I had encountered a type of man once colloquially known as a “knave”….
He’s the guy who’s buddy buddy with all the new associates.
The guy (pretty much always a guy) with time to speak.
He’ll talk your ear off about his awesome clients,
And get a drink or two in him,
He’ll tell you he loves his job so much
He’s actually friends with them.
Pretty quick you understand the power lies elsewhere.
A man with time on his hands given a thankless job with a shiny title
That no-one who matters wants.
Need to fill a table, he’s your guy.
Need a panelist, sign him up.
Need to fire the office admin, he’ll do that too.
Just don’t tell him to his face
His career is going nowhere,
And sooner or later all the associates catch on
(the staff already knew).
Qui Tam, a weekly column of poetry about the legal profession, is penned by an arrogant T1 law graduate, former Biglaw associate, and current in-house lawyer. You can reach Qui Tam by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.