This will probably end badly.

I don’t know what kind of “logic” makes prospective law students think that they’ll all end up in the top five percent of their classes. But I’m pretty sure the same kind of fallacy arises when a male law school graduate thinks that two women want to take him home from a bar and make love to him at the same time.

Maybe it’s not a logical fault. Maybe it’s the old Achilles heel for lawyers; they’re bad at math. Just because something is possible doesn’t make it probable. What’s probable is that the two women intend to rob you (you know, just like most law schools)…

A 2012 graduate of George Washington University Law School learned the expensive way that he’s not as awesome as he thinks. From the New York Post:

A wealthy Manhattan man thought he was living the dream when he brought home two gorgeous women from Tao.

When they got to his Gramercy Park pad, his sexy dates ripped off their clothes and took a shower together — fueling his fantasy.

Then the girls fixed him a stiff drink, and that’s when the lights went out.

Twelve hours later, Michael Curreri woke up in a daze to find the women — and his valuables — long gone.

[CORRECTION: George Washington University Law School administrators contacted us to say that the New York Post had the story wrong and that Curreri did not attend GW Law.]

For some reason, lawyers seem to have trouble coming to grips with the fact that they’re not ballers. Remember this guy, a top white-collar criminal defense lawyer, who got robbed after inviting two women up to his hotel room?

According to published reports, the women tied [Robert Anello] to a chair with lamp cords and a necktie at knifepoint and then let two male suspects into the room. The men then allegedly broke into the hotel room safe and swiped $800 cash, two cellular phones and four credit cards.

Lawyers, your profession is not exciting, it does not make the panties drop. Nobody is going to bone you for the privileged of saying “I f**ked a lawyer.” You are not a race car driver. You are not an astronaut.

You also don’t make that much money. At least not in the world of the crack-free threesome. Lawyers make alimony money. They make “I’ll settle for this husband” money. Threesome money is “this guy will put me through college” money. Lawyers generally don’t have that kind of flow.

But they do have enough money to make a decent score off of in a robbery. If two girls approach you in a bar or club, try to remember: you are the mark.

2 women drugged and robbed playboy [New York Post]
Ritz-Carlton Robbery: Robert J. Anello Tied Up, Robbed In Hotel Room In Puerto Rico [Huffington Post]
Tied to a chair and robbed in a five-star hotel [Gadling]


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