Law Professors, Law Schools

Qui Tam: Smart Guys

I’m not talking about gunners. I’m talking about the self-consciously really smart ones.  Maybe not Einstein (more like an S than a Z), but the ones that truly believe they occupy a different intellectual plane.

Just some words of advice to those of you in that category: if you value your delusions, suck up the lower pay, forget about actually practicing, and get thee to the ivory tower before it’s too late.

The Smart Guy

This guy, 178 LSAT
Cum laude Chicago
Offers everywhere.
You’d think he had it made.
Funny though,
He couldn’t hold a job to save his life.
Latham, Gibson, Jones Day (or some such),
He tried them all
And they failed him.

I don’t blame him,
Having to put up with
The rest of us
Mid/high 160s
Tier 1 top 10%er morons.
How can they be so stupid
He’d say, law’s a cerebral sport
And smarter always wins.
Dumber words were never said.

These days, I think he’s doing plaintiffs work
Out of a basement in Yorba Linda.
God bless him.

Qui Tam, a weekly column of poetry about the legal profession, is penned by an arrogant T1 law graduate, former Biglaw associate, and current in-house lawyer. You can reach Qui Tam by email:

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