Are you sure that you know the difference between a prostitute and a stripper? Trust me, I thought I did too. A prostitute leaves after you have sex. A stripper makes you leave before you have sex. The distinction is entirely fourth dimensional.

But the Black’s Law Dictionary definition of a prostitute is incredibly… loose. They define it as “A woman who indiscriminately consorts with men for hire. Carpenter v. People, 8 Barb. (N. Y.) 611; State v. Stoyell, 54 Me. 24, 89 Am. Dec. 716.”

First of all, that’s sexist. Men can be prostitutes too… what, you think there is something Nic Cage would not do for money? More importantly, people indiscriminately consorting for hire describes pretty much every lawyer in America.

Upon reflection, maybe Black’s Law is spot on there. But the confusion actually makes me a little more sympathetic to this area man who called 9-1-1 on a stripper who didn’t have sex with him…

In fairness, this story is coming out of Montana. We should be just happy that it doesn’t involve farm animals. From The Smoking Gun:

After paying $350 for a private dance at a gentlemen’s club, a Montana man called police to complain that the stripper did not have sex with him….

[W]hen he did not get the expected sex, he dialed 911 to register a consumer complaint.

This was a mistake on [William] McDaniel’s part.

When reached for comment, Dr. Bones McCoy said, “How can you get a permit to do a damned illegal thing?” The police arrested McDaniel for “offering money for sexual favors.” I can’t imagine the series of sad and depressing choices and events that leads one to becoming a stripper in Montana — in a strip club described on Yelp as “dirty and smells like vomit.” That seems like the very definition of “indiscriminate.” But at least the police don’t think she’s a “prostitute.”

In any event, there you have it. Paying someone to rub up against your fully clothed junk is a lot of things, but it’s not a “sexual favor.” Unless Magic Mike puts out, he’s just an ineffective vibrator.

Man Calls 911 To Complain That Stripper Would Not Have Sex With Him [The Smoking Gun]


comments sponsored by

21 comments (hidden for your protection) Show all comments