Biglaw, Partner Issues

Qui Tam: Soldiers

How is working for a Biglaw partner like working for a mob boss?

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A former colleague told me he spent the first few years of his career as a “soldier” for one of the powerful partners at his firm, and was ultimately driven to jump laterally at least in part to get out from under the guy’s thumb. It turns out the use of the word “soldier” wasn’t strictly a military allusion, meant [semi-] humorously to connote mindless devotion, but was actually intended more in the Sopranos vein. Or so it seemed to me anyway. Note I’ve also cast an aspersion on fraternities here, unapologetically…


Soldiers

In retrospect it should have been obvious, you said,
A predominance of frat boys,
A few wannabes for cover,
Guys who know how to close ranks,
Or fear the loss of inclusion.
These were his guys, his soldiers,
Fealty, loyalty, bro’ code[?],
In exchange for safety (from what exactly?),
Security (steady flow of billables?),
Protection from other partners
(though honestly, what’s worse than tax credit finance?),
And Lakers games, open bars,
Typical guy bait, even if you’re not that kind of guy
You have to pretend.
The man himself,
Soft spoken, demure, almost deferential, a
Mi casa es su casa kind of vibe,
If you kiss the ring.

It’s sounding a bit like the mob, I said.
And maybe that’s the attraction.
Just don’t forget (like I did, you said),
What’s mine is yours goes both ways,
And indispensable isn’t a word
In your typical Don’s vocabulary.

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Qui Tam, a weekly column of poetry about the legal profession, is penned by an arrogant T1 law graduate, former Biglaw associate, and current in-house lawyer. You can reach Qui Tam by email:quitammer@hotmail.com.

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