You Are Going To Lose

How we deal with problems is largely of our own choosing, as columnist Keith Lee explains.

Starting out one’s career as a lawyer is hard. You’re inexperienced, with only a passing knowledge of the law, thrust into being responsible for other people’s problems. Too often you might not feel confident in handling your own. People are going  to criticize you for any mistake you might make and take you to task for not handling a matter exactly as they would have wished. When beset with criticism and difficult situations, it can be easy to turn inwards and reel in feelings of doubt and a lack of self-confidence.

It can be difficult to preserve….

Yet, how we deal with problems is largely of our own choosing. It is a position you can find in the advice of many people.

  • “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” —Winston Churchill
  • “Every wall is a door.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • “You cannot tailor make the situations in life, but you can tailor make the attitudes to fit those situations before they arise.” —Zig Ziglar

This is a simple truth that most people fail to grasp. People want to place their feelings, moods, and attitude at the feet of others.

  • “My husband stayed at the office too late so I am resentful.”
  • “My leg is broken so I am sad.”
  • “I don’t have a job so I’m angry at law school.”

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It’s simple, straightforward advice. But simple does not mean easy. If it was easy, then the world would be filled with happy people. It is a hard choice to be happy and approach life with a positive mental attitude. It’s something that you try and fail at much of the time. I know I certainly do. But there is little else in life of which we have control.

That’s not to say that you move through life putting on a happy mask in the worst of situations. There are going to be bad times. Dark times. Especially as a lawyer. As I stated previously, becoming a good lawyer requires failure. That’s the nature of the game. You are going to fail. Beyond that, you are going to lose. You will be a loser. On a motion, or an arbitration, a contract dispute, merger clause, or conviction. You. Are. Going. To. Lose.

It will hurt. Hurt your pride and piss you off. Especially when you lose on some procedural rule over which you had no control. Or when some hidden evidence or witness makes an appearance at the 11th hour. I distinctly recall an appellate brief whose argument I knew was a winner, and the appellate court agreed, but the court stated the record on appeal didn’t have enough evidence to support it, which I knew was likely going to happen as the case was over a decade old, and missing much of the older evidence. But to be told that, yes you have a good argument, but no you can’t win, was infuriating. I was in a foul mood for the rest of the day.

Yet on the next day, I had to set it aside. There were other cases and other clients that needed my attention—not my moping. I had to take my beating and move on to the next battle. Crying over spilt milk, wallowing in your lot in life, accomplishes absolutely nothing. It is wasted energy. Not to say that on occasion you won’t want to drown your sorrows and be dragged down by the world for a time. But be mad, frustrated, cry, whatever—then let it go.

Letting other people, your cases, or the world control your attitude does you no good. It lessens your ability to do significant work. It is a disservice to your clients, to your family, to yourself. Deciding to approach law, life, your family and friends, with openness and positivity, despite the setbacks and obstacles in your path, is a powerful tool. Do not allow negativity that comes your way to derail you from your goals or control how you feel.

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So when you wake up tomorrow morning, try to remember that whether or not you have a good day is largely left up to you.

Carpe diem L.


Keith Lee practices law at Hamer Law Group, LLC in Birmingham, Alabama. He writes about professional development, the law, the universe, and everything at Associate’s Mind. He is also the author of The Marble and The Sculptor: From Law School To Law Practice (affiliate link), published by the ABA. You can reach him at keith.lee@hamerlawgroup.com or on Twitter at @associatesmind.