6 Horror Movie Villains Who Do Not Belong In Jail

Even ghouls and ghosts are innocent until proven guilty.

Law enforcement, to say nothing of physics, is usually powerless in a horror movie. As the supernatural bad guy kills its way through the cast, the police turn out to be unreliable assholes.

In a world where horror villains could be brought to justice, most of them would end up in jail or in an insane asylum. Hell, many horror villains have escaped from jail or an insane asylum, and society would put them back there if it could.

Most, but not all. Everybody is entitled to due process, everybody is entitled to their day in court. Some horror villains have violated no laws. Some horror villains deserve their freedom.

I’d like to honor these law abiding bad guys, in order from absolutely least culpable to villains who probably would need to hire Alan Dershowitz just to make sure that their rights were protected. [VARIOUS SPOILERS FOLLOW]

1. The Shark from Jaws

To paraphrase Chris Rock, that shark didn’t go crazy, that shark went shark. You don’t need a law degree to intuitively know that a shark cannot be culpable for its actions at dinner time. But if you did have a law degree, you’d know that the shark does not have the mens rea to commit a crime. That means it didn’t have a “guilty mind.” Sure, Hooper can call the shark a “man eater,” but a judge would call the shark an “eater.” The shark doesn’t know that eating people is “bad” while eating seals is okay.

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You know who should go to jail? That freaking Mayor of Amity. The Mayor pressured his police chief to ignore evidence, which is clear abuse of power, and put the lives of all the tourists at risk. Jaws 2 should have been about how wrongful death lawsuits bankrupted the town of Amity, causing a desperate new mayor to try to bait the waters to attract sharks and turn the town into a shark watching tourist trap, with disastrous consequences.

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