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Law Firm Uses Puppet As Pitchman And This Feels Like An Acid Trip

Yes, this is a puppet. Promoting a law firm. Specifically, Professor Hans von Puppet.

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My number one rule of lawyer advertising is to always avoid “old guy in suit in front of books,” but there are limits. And that limit falls somewhere beyond a dark Metallica tribute and somewhere around putting an ersatz Muppet in front of a camera to shill for a law firm.

Yes, this is a puppet. Promoting a law firm. Specifically, Professor Hans von Puppet.

What the holy hell?

I had to watch it a few times to convince myself I wasn’t having an acid trip. Or watching some high-concept sitcom.

With all the hubbub over cigarette companies advertising to kids, where was the outrage over a law firm making lawyering look fun?

This is an ad from last year for Salt Lake City law firm Schmidt & Gladstone still kicking around on YouTube. Schmidt & Gladstone are relatively well-regarded SLC divorce lawyers. Today they have a bland — but safe — commercial that takes my pet peeve one step further and superimposes lawyers in front of books. In case you ever imagined what it would look like if George Lucas made a lawyer ad.

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But not long ago, Schmidt & Gladstone was into experimenting with the felt stuff.

Professor Hans von Puppet? F for creativity. Better choices: Professor Al Imony; Professor Pat Ternity; Professor Pete Nuptial. Or at least Professor Ivan Tofuckmysecretary. It’s a Russian name.

The only justification for this is to protect children from suspecting anything while daddy watches this video on a loop and sips caffeine-free soda, or whatever it is they drink in Utah. On the other hand, there is an extra wholesomeness to pitching divorce with puppets. Maybe that’s the appeal in Utah.

Why is the puppet German and, presumably, Jewish in whitebread Utah? Why is there a stuffed owl back there? Who is the mysterious man he’s talking to in that picture?

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All questions that will haunt my waking and restful hours for years to come. And every time I hear that Kermit the Frog has “run into a door.”

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