Law Schools

On-Campus With Elie: 5 Things High School Students Can Do To Prepare For Law School

High school student asks Above the Law how to get into law school.

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Normally, we when get letters from pre-law students, they are college students asking our opinion on which law school to go to. We’ve done a series of posts on “The Decision,” because nice Above the Law always tries to help.

This week, we got an email from a high school junior asking us what he could do in order to increase his chances of going to law school. Regarding law school, he asked: “I was just seeking information on when I should apply to college, what I should major/minor in, what classes I should take in high school, and what my grades should be.”

It’s probably illegal for me to tell this kid what I really think under some kind of child abuse standard, right? Like, I’m not Adrian Peterson. The kid is essentially asking us what he can do to make sure Santa comes by next year. What does one say to that?

Okay, let’s assume that sometime between now and adulthood this kid will figure out whether or not he wants to go to law school. I’m not even going to try to convince him otherwise because we’re talking about something that won’t happen for this kid until the fall of 2020 at the earliest. For all I know, law schools in 2020 will be free and incorporate holodeck technology.

Wait, 2020 is only five years away? Jesus, when did it turn into “the future” and why is it so crappy? You know what, I accept this challenge. Here are five things high school students can do to maximize their chances of succeeding at law school.

1. Stop Watching Television Shows About Law.

You’ll just be disappointed. Stop watching “Suits.” Flip away from “How To Get Away With Murder.” If your mom tells you to turn on “The Good Wife” because you’re “interested” in that kind of stuff, don’t believe her. Television Law has nothing to do with real law and you are damaging your feeble, growing mind by watching that stuff. Those shows make it look like all lawyers are eloquent, in reality most lawyers are barely rhetorically competent.

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If you want to see lawyers in action, go see real lawyers in action at your local courthouse. It’s free and open to the public. Clearly, you don’t have a date so it’s not like you are missing out on better times. “Your Honor… uhh, the exhibit marked 1750A… can your attention, uhh, can I draw your attention to plaintiff’s exhibit 1750A? I believe? Is that the one?”

You don’t know drama.

2. Learn How To Take Standardized Tests

Colleges will care about your standardized test scores. But they’ll also care about your grades, your personal statement, letters from alumni, how much money your parents have donated, and your general personal story.

Law schools only care about your LSAT and your GPA, and they don’t even care about your GPA that much because it’s probably inflated. High school is a perfect time to start coming to grips with the fact that much of your educational opportunities will be based on how you perform on a standardized test. Embrace the pressure or become its victim.

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Remember kids, all standardized tests, (the SAT, the ACT, the LSAT, all of ’em) are stylized reading comprehension exams. Everything you need to know to answer the question is IN the question. That’s not how life works. That’s not even how most tests work. That’s why standardized test taking is a teachable skill. You can learn how to take these. There’s an entire industry of people who will teach you. Learn how to do this now, it will help you accomplish your goals.

If you don’t learn how to take standardized tests, the bar is going to be a problem in your future.

3. Avoid Drug Addiction And Procreation.

Note, I did not say avoid sex and drugs. Have as much sex and drugs as you can. They are fun. Trust me, if you were having more sex and drugs, you wouldn’t be emailing questions to Above the Law.

Just don’t ruin yourself on them. Moderation is your friend. Condoms are your friend. You can’t go to law school if you are chilling under the highway trying to smoke rocks and avoid child support. You don’t want to learn your legal skills by working on your own appeal from jail.

By the same token, if you have never done drugs before and you have never had sex before, you are going to go bananas when you are in law school, you still can’t get laid, and somebody hands you cocaine for the first time. Late high school and all of college are your time to train yourself into the functional version of whatever vices you are going to carry with you through life.

4. Learn An Actual Marketable Skill

Take shop class. No, I’m serious. Learn how to build something or fix something or contribute to society in some way that cannot be outsourced. You know, just in case “law firm hiring” continues to swirl around the toilet.

And even then, you should still consider using college to get a chemistry degree or an engineering degree so that you can come out of law school as a patent lawyer instead of being cast down with the Sodomites who think “math is hard.” The worst thing you could do for yourself is to treat the study of law as the thing to do if you don’t like math.

If what you like about law is the “arguing” and the “talking BS about how the world should work,” get a political philosophy Ph.D. Become a fantasy novelist and do some world-building. Start a blog. The world needs plenty of bartenders.

If you want to be a lawyer who actually helps clients, you better have some non-legal skills you can apply. Learn about sciences, learn about finances, learn to code. Learn about everything, then layer on a rudimentary understanding of how to write a contract.

5. Building Your Book Of Business Starts Now.

Look around your high school, somebody you know is going to end up being rich. It won’t be you if you want to be a lawyer. But the rich person will have legal issues, and you’ll want to keep their contact information. Everybody you meet and everybody you know is a potential client. Networking starts at home.

If you are going to turn your friends into business, you are going to need to have friends. That means you’ll need social skills. That means you’ll need to spend less time worrying about how to get into law school in five years, and more time figuring out how to live in the moment with the people around you.

When I was 14 I wanted to be an astronaut. Then I learned that they make you go to war and fly experimental jets that might blow up until they give you the opportunity to lose all of your bone density while being locked in a cell with a guy named Sergei. Life plans are best written in pencil. Remember that, young gun.

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