Non-Sequiturs: 03.11.15

* Texas wants to strip lawyers of their license if they don't pay their student loans. Yeah, if they're getting behind, taking away their ability to earn money seems like a good strategy. [Texas Lawyer] * Lawyer gives waiter a $25K tip to get dental surgery. Based on the picture, I'd have given him that tip for free. [ABC 11] * Let's all hope John Oliver never goes back to The Daily Show, because his HBO show is making a real-life impact. The Tennessee Supreme Court cited Oliver on civil forfeiture in an opinion handed down yesterday. [Tennessee Courts] * From the strip club to the mental hospital. Pretty standard murder scenario actually. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer] * Suge Knight's defense to murder and attempted murder charges? He's legally blind in one eye so didn't see the people he killed. [NY Daily News] * Reality star testifies under oath that reality shows aren't real. Try and pick up the pieces from your shattered world. [Morning After / Gawker] * Document review is such a terrible job, you should probably just go into PR. That assumes you've not done enough document review that you can never smile again. [Law and More] * The final segment of an interview with Seth Zachary, Chairman of Paul Hastings. In this part of the interview, Zachary discusses weathering and overcoming the collapse of his previous firm Finley Kumble, the former Biglaw giant that went under in the 80s. This is where we make the obligatory, "Dewey know anyone who might appreciate this tale?" [Bloomberg BNA / Big Law Business]