Law Revue Video Contest 2015: The Finalists!

Who are the finalists for this year's Law Revue Video Contest? Check them out -- and cast your vote!

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to feast your eyes upon the best of the best in the 2015 law revue video contest. This year, the competition was pretty awesome — while there were some complete flops, those who brought it really brought it.

And by “it,” we mean they were able to carry a tune, had excellent comedic timing, and provided us with some pretty drool-worthy student bodies. Our finalists’ videos were a joy to watch when compared to many of the other submissions, some of which were absolutely cringe-worthy. Even though 2014 and 2015 provided an excellent soundtrack for your law revue stylings, this was a year of throwback. While some law schools served up Taylor Swift parodies, the vast majority handed us pop and rap songs from the late 90s and early 2000s.

This year, your reviewers will be David Lat, Elie Mystal, Staci Zaretsky, and Joe Patrice. We issue only advisory opinions; you hold all the power.

Who will follow the winners of years past into the annals of Law Revue history? It’s up to you, our readers! Do the right thing: vote early, and vote for the best.

Videos are listed in alphabetical order by school. Voting will close on SUNDAY, MAY 3, at 11:59 PM (Eastern time).

1. Boston College Law School — Object So Hard

Sponsored

LAT: Strong rapping, excellent lyrics. But good lighting and closed captioning never hurt anyone. Just sayin’.
ELIE: The production values are low. But the lyrics are tight. Instead of making jokes about law school (which pretty much everybody does), they make jokes about law (which is what law school is supposed to be about). And that white boy does have some flow. Bonus points for white people getting through an entire N***as in Paris parody without feeling the urge to shout “N***ER” like they’re in a Quinton Tarantino movie.
STACI: This video wasn’t on my original list of finalists, but Lat and Elie convinced me that it was awesome. While the video is pretty dimly lit, the rapping is on point. Nice work.
JOE: I always think the best thing a video can offer is being nearly impossible to see OR hear. The lyrics, when you go back over them 15 times to parse them out, are amusing though. It’s not that I didn’t want this video to be a finalist, it’s that I wanted it to be a finalist for the Helen Keller Memorial Law Revue award.

2. Columbia Law School — Fed Soc

LAT: I’m a fan of the Federalist Society and the healthy debate it brings to overwhelmingly liberal American law schools (disclosure: I often participate in Fed Soc events). But even I must admit I enjoyed this video, with its entertaining lyrics and infectious energy. Extra points for the ATL shout-out (around 1:15).
ELIE: The best parodies are subversive. This here is fully realized social commentary. Jonathan Swift could have written this. That they can sing and dance is just a bonus. I think Columbia should go up in the law school rankings because of this.
STACI: You had me at Britney Spears. The lyrics are great, and my favorite part was the high-pitched “GUUUUNNNNSSSS!!!!” shriek — that guy had to have some serious testicular fortitude to reach that note, so my applause go out to him.
JOE: Not so much funny as a sad commentary on the reality of attending law school with a bunch of Objectivists getting high on Koch. Certainly not my favorite entry, but a very solid one. This is one of only two entries where I agreed with my colleagues.

3. Harvard Law School — Rather Read

Sponsored

LAT: This delightful celebration of the brilliant and hilarious Justice Scalia is the perfect antidote for Columbia’s anti-Fed-Soc entry. If you, like me, have ever given Justice Scalia a standing ovation while reading one of his opinions by yourself in your room late at night — for me it was his dissent in Morrison v. Olson, in case you’re wondering — you can totally relate to this video. (Interesting that Harvard posted on Vimeo rather than the more common YouTube; leave it to HLS to be non-conformist!)
ELIE: If Columbia’s was subversive, Harvard’s was straight propaganda. Scalia is NOT interesting, he’s just an asshole. Trust me, I know a little something about making an entire career out of being a vindictive dickhead. And leave it to Harvard to celebrate taking a nice, sweet looking student and turning her into a Fascist. Harvard Law School: where everything looks right and sounds right until you wake up one day with a lump of coal where your heart used to be.
STACI: I liked this video because it’s about every law student’s (and lawyer’s) dirty little secret. You may be down with R.B.G., but Scalia’s caustic dissents will keep you from falling asleep and drooling on your casebook.
JOE: I did not like this video. The premise is cute, and frankly accurate, but it goes on way too long and gets painfully awkward. Like an Alito opinion.

Flip to the next page to see the rest of the entries and to vote for your favorite.