Morning Docket: 04.21.15

* It's NALP week here on ATL. With the traveling (it's in Chicago this year) somehow I got stuck doing Morning Docket. Also, I'm not wearing any pants. [NALP] * Click on something I wrote on Redline or else I'll end up having to do this every day and I will attach all of you motherf**kers in my EEOC complaint. [Redline] * A California court decided that tiered water rates were illegal. Charging people more for water based on how much they consume is a key part of California's water plan. In other news, I'm fully prepared to live without nuts and fruits and vegetables as California returns to its natural, dusty state. [LA Times] * I don't even know how the format of this column is supposed to work anymore. I'm supposed to put a jump here? After the jump, more stories. Here's a video from Buzzfeed. [Buzzfeed] * Yesterday, on 4/20 Chicago decided to stop prosecuting low-level, non-violent drug offenses. I'm right to be terrified of going to Chicago today, right? Like, in Chicago, it's not just the cops I have to worry about, there are also actual criminals. [ABA Journal] * The sentencing phase of the Dzhokhar Tsarnaev trial begins today. If we've learned one thing from Game of Thrones, it's that public executions don't always have the desired effect. If we've learned two things it's always double-tap during "trials." [NBC News] * A Manhattan judge granted Habeas Corpus to two chimpanzees. When I get back to New York, will I even recognize it? [Nonhuman Rights]

* It’s NALP week here on ATL. With the traveling (it’s in Chicago this year) somehow I got stuck doing Morning Docket. Also, I’m not wearing any pants. [NALP]

* Click on something I wrote on Redline or else I’ll end up having to do this every day and I will attach all of you motherf**kers in my EEOC complaint. [Redline]

* A California court decided that tiered water rates were illegal. Charging people more for water based on how much they consume is a key part of California’s water conservation plan. In other news, I’m fully prepared to live without nuts and fruits and vegetables as California returns to its natural, dusty state. [LA Times]

* I don’t even know how the format of this column is supposed to work anymore. I’m supposed to put a jump here? After the jump, more stories. Here’s a video from Buzzfeed. [Buzzfeed]

* Yesterday, on 4/20, Chicago decided to stop prosecuting low-level, non-violent drug offenses. I’m right to be terrified of going to Chicago today, right? Like, in Chicago, it’s not just the cops I have to worry about, there are also actual criminals. [ABA Journal]

* The sentencing phase of the Dzhokhar Tsarnaev trial begins today. If we’ve learned one thing from Game of Thrones, it’s that public executions don’t always have the desired effect. If we’ve learned two things it’s always double-tap during “trials.” [NBC News]

Sponsored

* A Manhattan judge granted Habeas Corpus to two chimpanzees. When I get back to New York, will I even recognize it? [Nonhuman Rights]

Sponsored