In-House Counsel

The Road Not Taken: Networking For Misanthropes - Pre-Networking

These first five tips focus on pre-networking event planning and being in the right mental space to attend the event and succeed -- with whatever metric of success you are using.

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As I wrote last week, I am putting myself through self-inflicted torture: I am forcing myself to improve my networking skills. To build my foundation, I’m asking people who are experienced and adept at showing up, handing out business cards, and generally being pleasant and memorable for their advice.

My first networking expert is a colleague who spent time in a sales position in the financial/insurance industry. Her sole job was to bring in clients, so she was out smiling and chatting up people on a near-daily basis. I was surprised to learn this about her, because her natural demeanor is less sunny than what I thought that sort of job would require. I felt I would take her advice more seriously than a sunny extrovert who likes to talk to everyone. I want to know how someone who doesn’t like talking to people talks to people. Her advice included what to do at networking events, but more importantly to me, how to prepare for a networking event.

The first five of my colleague’s top 10 tips of practical advice for networking pertain to preparing prior to participating in the networking event:

  1. Get people to like you.

    It’s as simple as it sounds. This is the overarching goal of networking. If you can get at least one Important Person (more on the “Important Person” later) that you meet at a networking event to like you, then you have succeeded. You don’t need to sell yourself or your services, that comes later. Just make a connection.

    1. Set goals prior to the event.

    Start small. The goals can be as small as “talk to an Important Person” and progress to “talk to five people at the event” or “collect at least 10 business cards and follow up with these people.” Set the goals prior to the event. Make them concrete and quantifiable.

    1. Tag team if you can.

    Just like a cop movie, networking is more fun with a buddy. You don’t need a friend who is just one day from retirement, or who doesn’t do things by the book, you just need to help each other out at a networking event. You can make approaching people a little less awkward if you have someone to introduce. You can make conversation by extolling each other’s talents. A buddy prevents isolation. If you are standing by yourself because you left a conversation and haven’t yet engaged with other people, a buddy can be your default home base. Don’t let your buddy be a crutch, though. You can be each other’s “safe place” as necessary, but don’t circle in together to the exclusion of the networking event itself.

    1. Get your elevator speech ready.

    After the introduction, what are you going to talk about? How do you keep the conversation party going? Have a short summary of what you do, who you work for, and interesting things about yourself ready to go to move the conversation along if necessary. Some people are good talkers, others aren’t. Have an elevator speech handy if it is necessary, but don’t pull it out every time you talk to someone. Keep it for backup.

    1. Don’t try to move from “small talk” to “big talk.”

    If you are networking, you probably have a larger reason for being at the shindig. You may be job-hunting, looking for clients, or looking to poach employees. Whatever your “big reason” for being at the networking event may be, don’t talk about it at the networking event. Save the heavy discussions for later. Get a business card and schedule a follow-up contact in some way. You aren’t going to close a deal at a networking event. All the networking event allows you to do is to ring a doorbell. You have to wait to get inside the house.

These first five tips focus on pre-networking event planning and being in the right mental space to attend the event and succeed — with whatever metric of success you are using. The next five tips will address what to do once you are actually at the event and engaging other human beings in conversation.

Celeste Harrison Forst has practiced in small and mid-sized firms and is now in-house at a large manufacturing and technology company where she receives daily hugs from her colleagues. You can reach Celeste directly at C.harrisonforst@gmail.com.

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