Watch A Thomas M. Cooley Grad Fail On National Television

How many Cooley alumni can you name? One will be all over TV for the next week or so.

Finding a successful Cooley grad isn’t all that easy. With a 25.9 percent employment score (and a 38.6 percent underemployment score), matriculating students at Cooley — to the extent they still accept them — don’t get an orientation packet, they get a rousing speech from Effie Trinket about their odds of landing full-time long-term employment. But, like the Hunger Games, an impressive veneer (third item) drapes a troubling core.

Certainly many Cooley grads have perfectly respectable careers. And some are John Engler. But even the most partisan Cooley supporter has to admit the school isn’t making it easy to become a success in the legal field. Which might be why so many notable alumni found their way into politics — where a fleeting grasp of substantive law is an asset.

However, there’s one Cooley grad about to step up on the national stage who is neither a lawyer nor a politician. His name is Jon Cooper, the head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning, and tomorrow afternoon, his team will lace up to play in the Eastern Conference Finals. I’m sure Cooley is quick to label this a J.D. Advantage job — if for no other reason than constructing a sound Fourth Line requires a healthy grasp of intentional torts — but it’s a bit of a stretch.

If it’s not J.D. Advantage, does a professional hockey coach count as underemployment? If your TV contract is with NBCSN, well, yes.

How did Cooper go from a law student to a public defender to an NHL coach? Well, long-time readers may remember when we talked about Cooper’s career arc when the ‘Ning first hired him.

He ran the school’s club hockey team and — after he graduated and passed the bar — played on a local team of lawyers that called itself the Legal Eagles.

“So I’ve been practicing [law] about a year and a half,” Cooper said of the conversation that would change the course of his life. “And then a judge asks me to work for a kids’ team.”

This is almost exactly the plot of the Mighty Ducks film series.

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Back then he was a mere three games in but I already noted improvement. One season later he’s one series away from playing for the Stanley Cup.

But that requires getting past the New York Rangers.

Maybe Jon Cooper isn’t about to fail. Tampa Bay dispensed with the Habs in 6 games. And in Game 7 against the Capitals every Ranger not named “Lundqvist” played pretty suspect hockey. That said, beating Lundqvist in top form is a bigger deal than winning a club hockey league in Lansing. He’s got a .944 Save Percentage in the playoffs so far. That means only 5.6 percent of attempts reach their goal.

Think of Lundqvist as the Thomas M. Cooley of hockey — snuffing out the dreams of hopefuls all while collecting a hefty paycheck.

Earlier: Much Maligned Law School Cuts First-Year Class, Announces Layoffs
Non-Sequiturs: 05.14.15
Cooley Law Is A Great Place To Learn To Coach Hockey

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