In-House Counsel

The Road Not Taken: Summer School - Unexcused Absence

In-house counsel columnist Celeste Harrison Forst shares the key to getting started on your networking goals.

By  
on

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” Henry Ford

I’m not doing so well on my summer project. Let me rephrase that. I’m doing really well at doing research for my summer project. I’m not doing well at the actual doing.

A few weeks ago, I decided to actively improve my networking skills this summer. To that end, I tried to cultivate actual, practical advice for networking success. I shared some very helpful advice from a colleague and, with that, was inspired to learn more. I contacted people who impressed me with their networking skills. I heard from people who network as an integral part of their job. Although my informal educators were of diverse backgrounds, they all have one thing in common: they generously shared their knowledge about networking with me.

Others were generous in support of my goal, and I exuberantly shared my immediate plans for networking and using their advice in the near future. They gave to me and I now must confess; I have failed them. At least over the past few weeks. I had a networking event in my sights, it was on my calendar. I even told colleagues I was going.  And I bailed. The excuses are all there, it was raining, I had work to do, I hated life, I was afraid. None of the excuses are valid. I did not want to go to a networking event by myself.

I’m not proud of procrastinating on this. I know I need to improve both my networking skills and my network itself. However, my immediate weakness does not make the last month a waste. The amount of advice that has been shared with me by readers and others I did not know before is more generous than I deserve. With a small gesture, these strangers changed my paradigm about networking; one of them even said it to me: “Networking is not about you. It is about the other person.”  And that’s what their actions showed me, they reached out to me. They demonstrated how to begin the networking interaction with a stranger. By being the recipient of this low-stakes networking, I started to see the discrete parts of  a networking interaction.

What did I notice in all these interactions with otherwise perfect strangers? Nobody was afraid to reach out, ashamed to take up my time, or even apologetic about filling up my inbox. Everyone was confident that their engagement with me would be valuable or at least helpful to me in some capacity. Simple confidence. The legal industry attracts confident people, but the grind of the education, economic reality, and work environment can change cocky young 1Ls into exhausted, disillusioned thirty-somethings. I realized I have fallen into a trap of complacency about my skills and career. I have not taken the time to parse out and articulate what I do, have done, and plan on doing. I have, perhaps subconsciously, felt entitled to have others figure out for themselves why they need to engage with me. In short, I’ve unintentionally been making networking about me and not about others. When I realized this, I felt another clunk of my internal gears, rotating my views of networking.

I have some homework to do now. I will be coming up with my cheat sheet of things I bring to the table, not only as an attorney but also as a person.  Thanks to the kindness of strangers, I have a longer list of networking advice that I will be sharing with you soon. I will also reschedule a networking event for myself. A networking event I will have the confidence and the intestinal fortitude to attend

Sponsored

Celeste Harrison Forst has practiced in small and mid-sized firms and is now in-house at a large manufacturing and technology company where she receives daily hugs from her colleagues. You can reach Celeste directly atC.harrisonforst@gmail.com.

Sponsored

Topics

, , , ,