Law Schools

That Time I Went To The 'Erwin Rommel School Of Law'

The internet leads you to some strange, dark places. This is one of them.

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I was Googling “Erwin Rommel statues” (it’s a long story) and it led me to some dark places on the internet. But then, like a clear lake deep inside a dark cave system, I saw this.

Dude… this sounds like my kind of law school.

As clear as I can tell, Erwin Rommel law is not a physical place. It is, sadly, not accredited by or in good standing with the American Bar Association. The mailing address is a P.O. Box for Peter Jon Simpson in Atwater, Minnesota.

When you Google “Peter Jon Simpson,” this website also comes up. It’s a landing page for Michael H. Brown’s book “American Women Are Crazy.” Michael H. Brown also has a book, “Defending A Drug Case,” featured on the Erwin Rommel webpage. Maybe they’re buds?

You can buy the Erwin Rommel School of Law experience — which I think is a series of DVD “seminars” that he calls “The Whole Enchilada” — for the discounted price of $1,499.

I know what you are asking. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” Luckily, ERSOL has anticipated your questions:

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Why are you called Erwin Rommel?

For four basic reasons:

1) Rommel accomplished a lot with limited supplies. “In Pro Pers” facing Government in court must do the same

2) Rommel taught his army to exploit the enemy’s weaknesses and use the enemy’s equipment against him.

3) Rommel didn’t throw the rule-book out the window. He wrote it as he went along.

4) Rommel exploited every opportunity he could. Many of those he created with excellent advance planning.

….Any Questions?

Nope, no more questions. When I think of Erwin Rommel, the first thing I think of is “resourceful planner who would probably have been a great lawyer if he wasn’t so busy being a Nazi.”

Is there any more knowledge ERSOL has to drop?

On Lawyers in America

1. Read the 11th Chapter of the Gospel of Luke.

2. Americans appearing in American courts represented by licensed lawyers are known to be “wards-of-the-court”. See, e.g., Corpus Juris Secundum, Attorney & Client, Sec. 2, pg 769.

Black’s Law Dictionary (5th Ed., 1991) defines “wards-of-the-court” as “infants” or “persons of unsound mind”. You could “look it up”. Your lawyer didn’t explain this to you when he took your money? Wonder why?

3. “His [the attorney’s] first duty is to the court, not to the client, and wherever the duties he owes to the client conflict with the duties he owes to the court, as an officer of the court in the administration of justice, the former must yield to the latter”. Corpus Juris Secundum, Attorney & Client, Sec. 4, pg 802. [emphasis mine.] Your lawyer didn’t explain this to you either?

4. In the Oxford English Dictionary [600,000+ entries in 22 volumes], look up “lawyer” & “liar”. After you learn why those words are connected phonetically in English,

Re-read Luke 11.

5. Any questions?

I’ll save you the trouble.

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Then answered one of the lawyers, and said unto him, Master, thus saying thou reproachest us also.

And he said, Woe unto you also, ye lawyers! for ye lade men with burdens grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touch not the burdens with one of your fingers…

Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Happy Friday, readers.

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