Law Professors, Law Schools

Every Tenure Letter Ever Written

You might find this column funny only if you are a law professor. Otherwise, you’ll just find it scary.

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You might only find this column funny if you are a law professor. Otherwise, you’ll just find it scary.

Dear Tenure and Promotion Committee:

I am delighted to review Dick “Robin” Grayson for tenure. I have read all of Robin’s work, and have followed his career closely. I will disclose that while we aren’t friends, we did have a beer once together. However, I assure the committee, for purposes of demonstrating my objectivity, that the beer ended in fisticuffs, with Robin and I swearing eternal hatred for one another. I should also disclose I started the fight, because Robin is a gentle soul who would never be antagonistic, especially in faculty meetings.

Allow me to start by reviewing his work, Superheroes and (Un)lawful Vigilantism in a Post-Zimmerman World, 138 Harv. L. Rev. 205. Here, Robin tackles a concept that has never been adequately addressed by the academy, in my opinion. Robin carefully walks us through superhero encounters with villains, in particular the Joker, the Riddler, and the Penguin, to demonstrate a history of positive vigilantism in this country. He then draws the parallel between “good” vigilantism and plain racism, to argue the need for legislation to protect good vigilantism. The article is well-written, cutting-edge, and has taken both the academic and the superhero worlds by storm. His work even won the Gotham City Award for Sheer Genius.

While I understand that tenure review letters are typically a logical fallacy based upon opinion evidence and an appeal to authority, allow me to continue by reviewing his latest work: Born Again: The Legal Ramifications of Coming Back From the Dead, 138 Yale L. J. 205. In this article, Robin notes that DC superheroes always die. Never fear, for they always come back from the dead. For some reason, I MARVEL at how this doesn’t happen to some people. The legal community has largely ignored the legal ramifications of reincarnated superheroes. What is the status of the Will? What are the interests of the state? Are there tax implications?

Robin tackles each of these topics (and more) in an innovative, cutting-edge, totally tenure-worthy article.

It is common to ask reviewers about weaknesses in the article. I can find only one. I think in our community it is controversial whether or not Aquaman is in fact a superhero. This is because Aquaman, of course, makes sea creatures do most of his work for him. I don’t think that Robin properly addresses this issue. Also, what of climate change? When all sea life ceases to exist, will Aquaman continue to be a superhero? I, of course, am nitpicking. I am sure Robin will tackle these issues in later work.

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In addition to Robin’s exceptional scholarship, allow me to comment on his teaching and service (also known as “what you’ll only care about if his scholarship sucks”). Robin is an amazing teacher. Every class, he starts by capturing the students’ attention by rappelling down the ceiling, and then by using equally stunning PowerPoints. His pedagogy is a flawless integration of high theory, practice skills, and a keen sense that lives are at stake in the thrilling world of superhero law. His evaluations, I have seen, demonstrate student amazement at how awesome he is. They say things like “Best professor ever” and “OMG those tights!” Unrelated perhaps, I can’t help but notice he has a “chili pepper” on RateMyProfessors.com.

In terms of service, I note that Robin has himself captured several supervillains. He does not, however, let that stop him from doing his far more important day job. He has hosted several academic symposia on the topic of superhero law. The symposium he held for Stanford, Topics in the Incarceration of Highly Skilled Super Villain Recidivists, was published in 138 Stan. L. Rev. 205. He has also been a member of many AALS committees, as well as having spoken on numerous panels. He is, therefore, the perfect law professor.

For these reasons, Robin clearly meets the tenure standards of your university. He would even meet the standards of my even better place of employment.

Sincerely,

Batman
Harvey Dent Professor of Law

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LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here and on Twitter (@lawprofblawg). Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.

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