Law Professors, Law Schools

How To Deal With Your Colleague, Professor Narcissus

Is your colleague a narcissist? Before you quickly answer yes, consider that most of your colleagues are likely not. This is how you can deal with the few who really are.

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Is your colleague a narcissist?   Before you quickly answer yes, shaking your head vigorously, consider that most of your colleagues are likely not. Academia draws some powerful and even sometimes entitled personalities, many with self-esteem issues, but that doesn’t make them narcissistic. However, there may be that one (or two or three) that you suspect of being a narcissist.

How do you spot one? Well, the best way would be if your suspect would take a quiz. That might, however, lead to some hostility when you ask, “Can you take this quiz to determine if you’re a narcissist?” I’ve already demonstrated my lack of narcissism.

That means you’re left with observation. The DSM-V, according to the Mayo Clinic, says that the narcissist will exhibit these characteristics.

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating achievements and talents
  • Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
  • Requiring constant admiration
  • Having a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
  • Taking advantage of others to get what you want
  • Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Being envious of others and believing others envy you
  • Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

For example, a conversation with a narcissist might go like this:

You: Hey, I just got my casebook published.

Narcissus: That’s not scholarship. But I’ll tell you, I’ve been working on these articles for a while. I’m not settling for anything less than Harvard for this one….

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You: I just got my sixth article published.

Narcissus: Congratulations! If only they were as substantive as mine, and as well-placed….

Or like this:

Narcissus: How are you?

You: I’m good. You?

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Narcissus: Well, I’m insanely busy. I’ve been working on this article, and this book, and I have to give a talk at Harvard. The talk is going to be very interesting….

Or during a meeting:

Narcissus: (Going on and on for 10 minutes)

You: I have a question. I’m not sure why that last part was within the scope of our committee.

Narcissus: (Makes your question sound ridiculous, says a snarky passive-aggressive comment, and then drones on again).

Or if you criticize Professor Narcissus’s idea, he will take it very personally. He will not speak to you, or worse, he will lash out at you. If you criticize his idea in public, he may ridicule you.

A narcissist believes that the world revolves around him. If he’s your associate dean, you’ll be subject to constant e-mail barrages and micromanagement, no matter how trivial the issue. That means that when you ignore e-mails, more e-mails and phone calls will follow. He might show up at your door and OMG, LEAVE ME ALONE!

A narcissist isn’t going to care whether you have other work to do (because they do too, and their work is more important than yours).   In fact, you could be giving birth and the narcissist might say, “Before you rush to the hospital, can you just finish this memo?”

Don’t bother taking the lead on anything. The narcissist will reject your idea out of hand. It must be his idea that is accepted. At best, you can provide some options, but don’t be surprised when the narcissist chooses not between your options A and B, but his own option C. Even if they do adopt your idea, you aren’t going to get credit for it.

Don’t bother saying that the narcissist’s behavior is hurtful. Narcissists tune out on that, and you’re going to get a lecture about how it’s really your fault, anyway.

If you’ve been delegated something by a narcissist, rest assured you aren’t in charge. There will be micromanagement, there will be changes, and there will be no credit.

In short, a narcissist is potentially a long-term energy vampire and drama llama.   If you have one as your dean or associate dean, you are in for a rough haul.

What can you do about a narcissist colleague?

  1. Don’t take it personally. You can’t. Your colleague is not going to change his behavior, even if you call him on it. You cannot choose what Professor Narcissus will do, only how you respond.
  2. Do avoid working with that person, if you can. Nothing good will come out of that. As I’ve written before, you only have a certain amount of energy in the day. No need to have someone drain you of it unnecessarily. If you are forced to work with someone like this, limit the interaction and the amount of time you are willing to devote to the issue.
  3. Remember the person is a human being, not a stereotype. Practice being compassionate when you can, but never allow that person to drain you of energy unnecessarily.
  4. Watch your back. Narcissists, like other drama llamas, are keen on tearing you down so as to elevate themselves. Don’t engage in the gossip, but by all means if the gossip is to colleagues, correct that.
  5. Watch out for the charm. The narcissist might be an expert at drawing you in, and making you feel like only you and him know how to run the world. He really means: Just him.

LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here and on Twitter (@lawprofblawg). Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.

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