Job Searches, Small Law Firms

Is This A Great Career Opportunity Masquerading As A Terrible Job?

A sub-minimum-wage job offer -- but it comes with a grilled cheese sandwich! And maybe a long-term career opportunity.

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We’ve profiled some truly atrocious job listings in our time. But sometimes there’s a job listing that’s a little more complicated. A job listing that looks downright terrible, but on closer inspection may be a gem.

Or maybe not.

A self-described “old guy” lawyer is looking for a young associate to help out with his small practice. He took to America’s most prestigious legal recruiting board to trawl for candidates.

From Craigslist:

Old guy paying $1000/month? As our tipster put it, “Is this kind of like how as a kid my grandma gave me a dime to go to the movies, which cost $8.50?” Perhaps.

This job comes to us from Louisiana, which boasts a minimum wage of $7.25/hour. To put this job in perspective, that means a full-time burger-flipper is pulling down $1160/month, making this $1000/month lawyer gig decidedly sub-minimum wage. Indeed, 22 minimum wage hours below the minimum wage. But again… grilled cheese place (which, in fairness, is highly regarded).

And “Applicant must be top third of class or moot court or law review”?!? Awfully snooty for a job offering peanuts. It’s more accurate to say, “Applicant must have reached a professional dead end and be at the end of their rope financially or owe a sizable debt to the mob.”

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A quick check of the Googles reveals that 422 S. Broad is the home of attorney David Band, who boasts a 45-year practice on his website. Here’s a shot of his office, complete with grilled cheese shop:

Look, if Band were looking for someone to work 15-20 hours/week, that would be one thing, but the listing specifically says it’s a full-time gig. On the other hand, the cryptic “opportunity to make sizable contingency fees” may transform this job into something more akin to starting your own practice with a $1000/month stipend, which would be… kind of cool actually. The problem is, none of this is obvious from the listing and the prevarications in the ad that access to these contingency fees would be (ugh) contingent on the applicant being “ambitious, business savy, logical and reasonable and willing to learn from experience” as determined solely by the gatekeeper that is old guy makes this a troubling job proposition.

Since Band seems like a good guy who runs a Rolls Royce rental business that doubles as a law practice, let’s assume he’s really offering an apprenticeship opportunity with a genuine offer of fee sharing supplemented by a $1000 stipend. A young associate can learn from a seasoned professional not just how to be a lawyer, but how to run a practice. Add in the possibility of taking over the practice someday and this may be one of those high-risk, high-reward situations.

Unfortunately, wooing a recent graduate with a good apprenticeship may be well-meaning, but it’s just not how this works. If Band is looking for a junior partner to take on the risks of the business with him, then go bring in a junior partner. But this job reads more like a guy hedging his bets on his own ability to hire a quality associate — paying below rock bottom until the associate successfully jumps through some hoop that exists only in the boss’s head. And if they underachieve, who cares? At least they do some work at almost no cost to you.

Pay a real, competitive salary and fire any underachievers or don’t hire anyone at all. It may be a weakness of the system that small practitioners — beholden to contingency fees — aren’t in a position to part with the guaranteed salary required to hire and mentor young associates, forever robbing the young of the solo practitioner’s insights and experience, but let’s not sacrifice financial dignity at the altar of vague promises of “experience.”

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Remember, it you’re hiring someone to do a job, regardless of what noble dreams you have for their future, you’re asking them to do your work for you and you need to pay them at least the equivalent of the minimum wage. McDonald’s can’t say, “sure she’s working the register now, but we expect this woman will own a franchise someday so we’re going to pay her $2/hour” and no matter how much pretentious bloviating the legal profession spews it’s not appreciably better than McDonald’s.

Earlier: Law Firm Now Offering Sub-Minimum Wage Paycheck!
Seeking Hard-Working Lawyer To Make Less Than A Contractor
The Lowest Job A Lawyer Can Get Is Now ‘Law Student’

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