The View From Up North: Let’s Overthrow Your Evil Overlords (i.e., Equity Partners)

Do you want the opportunity to figure out whether you’re being treated better or worse than your colleagues at other firms? Help us help you.

Hey Canadian associates, are your Evil Overlords (i.e., equity partners) making your life miserable? Do they unilaterally change long-standing compensation policies without consulting you? Do they put things like “needs to learn how to say no better” on your performance review after you bill the 2,400 hours they jam on you? Do you understand the path to partnership, or is it as murky as the 50-year-old scotch in the managing partner’s fully stocked bar? Do your Evil Overlords give you the speech about “how tough it is out there” when explaining your miserly bonuses after a record billing year for the firm?

If so, you’re not alone. Lots of your peers are in the same position. And, I’m here to help.

How, you ask?

Information. Information is key. Information allows you to make informed decisions. It allows you to understand whether you have it better or worse than your peers. Your Evil Overlords do not want you to have information. Moreover, if you have information, they sure as heck don’t want you to share it. They don’t want you to compare your situation with others’, to see if the grass is actually greener in another skyscraper.

A little story. Back in the days of the Roman Empire, slaves outnumbered citizens by a vast amount. Now, as a citizen, you’d think you’d want to differentiate yourself from the slaves. You know, dress extravagantly to show your superiority. But, some astute pre-Italian reckoned if the citizens dressed differently, the slaves would easily figure out how they vastly outnumbered the rich folk, and chaos would ensue. Thus, citizens and slaves dressed similarly. A classic example of hiding information to protect the powerful.

So, let’s remember the Romans and create a little fun/chaos. I want to find out salary data, bonuses, hours expectations (the real expectations, not the “official” ones given to prospective articling students). I want to find out which firms — big and small — are well run, and which aren’t. I want to hear those stories the firms would rather not make public. Send me your leads, gossip, leaked documents, embarrassing photos, or anything else cool and interesting.

By sharing with me, you’re sharing with your peers. It gives you an opportunity to figure out whether you’re being treated better or worse than your colleagues at other firms. And, that’s power!

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You can do this by either emailing me directly or, and here’s the beautiful part, you can do it anonymously. Just create a fictitious Gmail account (e.g. EvilOverlordKiller1872416@gmail.com) and email your tips to tips@abovethelaw.com. All Canadian stories will get passed on to me. Additionally, if you contact Above the Law non-anonymously, the editors will keep your name strictly confidential.

Now, I want to say something to the Evil Overlords. I want you to know I’m not being judgy. It’s hard to run a firm, especially in Canada where we distrust professional managers who understand things like running a business.

Then there are these creatures called associates. You need them, but they’re pricey. You have to feed them files, housebreak them. They take time and effort and, for the first several high-paying years, they’re like a shih tzu — almost useless. Furthermore, they sniff your shiny Porsche and wonder why the bonuses are so slim after they spend 60 hours per week chained to their desks. They should be happy just to have a home, right? Finally, after all those years of giving them your heart, your blood, and raising them in your clever image, they run away from home, sometimes for in-house positions, sometimes for babies. Disloyal.

Trust me, I feel your pain.

Thus, I’m not asking your associates to share information to make your life tougher. That’s not my purpose. I’m doing it because you suck at creating workplaces that keep associates happy and disgruntled employees have great stories and information to share.

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And I believe sharing makes the world a better place.

That’s the View From Up North. Have a great week.

P.S. Remember, tips@abovethelaw.com.


Steve Dykstra is a Canadian-trained lawyer and legal recruiter. He is the President of Steven Dykstra Law Professional Corporation, a boutique corporate/commercial law firm located in the greater Toronto area. You can contact Steve at steve@stevendykstralaw.ca. You can also read his blog at stevendykstra.wordpress.com, follow him on Twitter (@Law_Think), or connect on LinkedIn (ca.linkedin.com/in/stevedykstra/).