For $100 Million, You Can Name Northwestern Whatever You Want

Northwestern's new sugar daddy.

Yesterday, we received a press release stating that Northwestern would be livestreaming a major, even historic, announcement. I assumed Northwestern would be receiving a boatload of money and renaming their law school.

I was close. Northwestern received a $100 million gift from J.B. and M.K. Pritzker. It will now be known as the Northwestern Pritzker School of Law. The gift is the largest single donation to any law school ever. William Osborn, chair of the Northwestern Board of Trustees, said that the gift could be “a significant turning point in the history of legal education.” Which… come on. Harvard Law School’s endowment is $1.7 billion, with a “b.” Let’s agree that we’re not changing “the history of legal education” with one third of the budget of a Bond movie.

If you don’t know who the Pritzkers are, that’s because they don’t slap their name on their other holdings.

Yeah, the Pritzkers own Hyatt. And Royal Caribbean. And a zoo. And the medical school at the University of Chicago is named after them. J.B. Pritzker is worth $3.4 billion. He’s probably spent $100 million just on legal fees by now.

But of all the things I wish Northwestern had renamed itself: Lake Effect Law School, East Northwestern School Of Westlaw, Private Midwestern T14 — No Not U. Chicago — Law School, the best would have been after one of Pritzker’s other holdings: TransUnion Credit School of Law. Because people really should think about their freaking credit before going to law school.

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During their presser, Northwestern talked a lot about how the donation would be a boon in a time where law students are forced into some tough economic decisions:

The Pritzkers’ game-changing gift will allow the best students, no matter what their socio-economic background, to get a legal education at one of the top law schools in the country. In addition, it simultaneously focuses on the advancement of the study of law, business and technology, and on public interest initiatives in the areas of civil and human rights.

See, here’s the problem: qualified students can go to Northwestern now “no matter what their socioeconomic background.” It’s called a loan. Now maybe Northwestern uses this money to bump up their aid packages. Maybe, and Northwestern was light on specifics here, but maybe Northwestern gives out more true scholarships that top students don’t even have to pay back. We know that now more than ever a school like Northwestern has to compete with schools just a tick below them who are offering full rides to prospective students. Maybe this gift makes Northwestern more competitive in that game.

But the thing that would really help prospective students, regardless of their background, would be for Northwestern to drop the price of their tuition… and there wasn’t a damn word about that. There wasn’t a word about making the sticker price lower for the students who are just barely getting into Northwestern (a huge accomplishment for some with challenging socioeconomic backgrounds) and can’t command the scholarships of kids with better LSAT scores. The school sure as hell didn’t talk about expanding loan forgiveness programs so that the students already at Northwestern might benefit from the Pritzkers’ economic largess.

So sure, congratulations to Northwestern on getting a lot of money. But getting money doesn’t tell us a lot about your future. Let’s see how you spend it.

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