NYU Law School Needs Our Help, We Oblige

Yet another law school needs assistance learning proper listserv etiquette.

Readers, we listen to you. When you ask for our help, we respond. So when NYU law students begged us to use our powers of snark to [attempt to] stop the rampant abuse of the student listserv we respond because we care. And if you reach out to us on the very day the Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer gets released [we received the tip late last night] with this delightfully nerdy request, we appreciate it:

ATL please, you are our only hope.

So what in the world is going on at NYU that they so desperately need to bring publicity for? It’s another case of listserv abuse. The list has been inundated with a few students snipping at each other. The cause of their discord? Like so many eager students that haven’t had the idealism beaten out of them yet, it’s about politics. Specifically the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.

Pssshaw, that’s such a straightforward issue, I’m sure a couple of 22-26 year olds can hash it all out over email.

As a reminder for all law students: do not use giant listservs (let alone one that has the entire student body on it) for anything but their intended purposes. Unless the list is MiddleEastPolitics@lists.nyu.edu, don’t use it to spout your personal beliefs to everyone else. This is a lesson that will serve you well in law firm life too, as sending an email to AllAttorneys@biglaw.com with personal opinions is probably career suicide.

As per our policy, when embarrassing (or not so) events involve law students we decline to name them, as all young people deserve some time to mess up without ruining their Google footprint.

After some pro-Israel/pro-Palestine back and forth there is a plea to the listserv to keep it, you know, relevant. Then we learn that the someone who’s spoken out against Israel got punked. Hard:

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[D]id you just sign me up for e-mail updates from the Zionist Organization of America?

Really funny and all but kind of annoying.

Sure, it’s pretty easy to create an email rule to deal with it, but the spirit of Ashton Kutcher lives on in whatever mischief-maker set this in motion. Apparently suggesting you may have doubled as a prankster is offensive, and warrants “contacting the administration.” Having a humorous side can be such a burden:

I will be contacting the administration about you publicly making such a heinous accusation. It’s one thing to share your opinion and have a disagreement over Coases [law student listserv]. But it’s another to accuse me of committing a crime in a public forum when there is zero evidence I have done such a thing.

And to be clear, I did not.

Holy overreaction, Batman! And more important to the overwhelming majority of the law students does nothing to end the bickering which tipsters have told us has gone on for almost a week.

That’s when our hero, a self-titled “Jaded 3L,” jumps into the fray to save everyone from annoying emails:

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The overwhelming majority of the student body cares much less about Palestinian/Zionist issues than you and the rest of the people spamming us seem to think. To the extent we do care, most of us only care in the sense that we want you to get the hell off coases and shut the hell up so that we may use it for its intended purpose, to wit: selling my half-eaten box of Cheerios.
This is not the appropriate venue for such bickering, nor even for any political grandstanding at all, for that matter. Should you require assistance in procuring an appropriate venue to resolve your quarrel with the pro-Israeli activists at this institution, I would be happy to help. I’m sure we could arrange a cage match somewhere so you can duke it out. I would certainly pay to watch.
If a thought comes to mind and you really, REALLY think the entire student body simply MUST hear about it—trust me, we don’t. If you feel like you absolutely MUST defend yourself against baseless allegations levied by evil fringe activists from the other side—trust me, you don’t. Don’t worry; we already know that you’re both wrong! So if you think you need to send an email to coases, think again. Just don’t do it. (This is addressed to both sides.)
Kindly cease and desist in order that we may address our first world problems before concerning ourselves with your non-first world problems. The rest of the (first) world will thank you. 😉
Cheers,
Jaded 3L

This is a true lawyer in the making, admitting it is a first world problem and just plowing right on, throwing out vaguely legal language and most importantly using public humiliation to get their desired goals. We salute you, Jaded 3L. It won’t be long now until you’re an overworked 1st year.