The Road Not Taken: The Sun In The Morning And The Moon At Night

Life is uncertain and we only harm ourselves by focusing on the negative instead of the positive aspects of what we have.

I had a frothy column ready for my return from vacation. It feels a bit trite to talk about appreciating the value of vacation and time off with recent world events still stinging our hearts. That, of course, is an irrational response to a problem much larger than this column. It is the same sentiment that makes us believe that #prayersforparis will warm the hearts of those actually impacted, when the truth is, the most likely scenario is that someone impacted will see on the news that #prayersforparis is trending. But when I thought about it, the message I wanted to give is ultimately the same: you don’t know what tomorrow brings, so appreciate what today gives you.  And so, with a more poignant perspective than what I had originally intended, let’s discuss reasons and ways to take stock of what you have in your life and job, because life is uncertain and we only harm ourselves by focusing on the negative instead of the positive aspects of what we have.

First, I want to put out there what is often overlooked in feel-good quips like this. Many of us have jobs that do not make us happy. Law can be an unappreciative spouse. We fell in love when we were young with what we thought was an attentive and romantic partner, but the relationship changed from one of love and excitement to bitterness and resentment. Hearing someone like me, someone who likes her job, tell others to find good things about their jobs when the job has taken so much from them is insulting. I know this and I don’t want to insult anyone. But the fact is, if you feel that way about your job, your job doesn’t care about your feelings. The only one who cares about your feelings is you, and you are the only person who can change your situation – either by changing jobs or changing perspective.

If you can’t change jobs immediately, then the only thing you have to change is your perspective. If your situation is particularly dire, you may have to start with the basics. Today, we know we can be grateful that we are here. We are safe. To our own individual extents, we are healthy. We are educated. Start from there. Add on. Repeat this list to yourself every day and add one thing to the list every day. Yes, your boss may yell at you. The partner you work for may dismiss your work, disregard your schedule, and publicly humiliate you, but you have a job. You are working. You have the skills to put together work product to be dismissed. You have things in your life outside of work to be interrupted. It isn’t ideal, but you have something.

If you are looking for a new job, changing your perspective may help you find a new one. If you can articulate what you have gained from your current situation and can show enthusiasm for the job (beyond just wanting to get out of your current position), a change in perspective can only help you by generating an energy of positivity.

For those who like their jobs, we often become complacent. We forget what made us like our jobs in the first place. We lose the excitement of coming in and working with our colleagues, solving problems, and being part of our team’s successes. The same exercise applies. I was reminded of the things I like about my job by being away from it for a little while. The vacation was restorative and gave me the space to adjust my perspective. But we can’t always take a vacation and, Universe-willing, we will not have another tragedy like the one in Paris to remind us to take stock of our lives.

To be clear, this exercise isn’t intended to pretend like things are better than they are, it is intended to change a mindset from what a person doesn’t have to what a person does have. We shouldn’t have to have a tragedy that reminds us how fleeting life is to inspire us to appreciate our lives, but it happens. Most of us, as individuals, can’t impact a great deal of change in the world. We’re grown-ups, we know this now. We can, however, do something. We can do something so small that it feels insignificant against the bigger issues we are facing in this world. If we can take stock of our own life and find something to appreciate, that small, intangible act will make a difference in our own life, which may impact those directly around us in a beneficial way.


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Celeste Harrison Forst has practiced in small and mid-sized firms and is now in-house at a large manufacturing and technology company where she receives daily hugs from her colleagues. You can reach Celeste directly at C.harrisonforst@gmail.com.

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