Depositions, Legal Ethics

Deposition Derailed By Dick Joke Dispute

That time when opposing counsel ducks under the deposition table to question your manhood....

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UPDATE (1/13/16): As one might expect, the judge responded to this affair with a stern benchslap.

Reading this transcript is like watching a slow-motion train crash if that train crashed into someone’s crotch while he watched a deposition. Depositions can get a little crazy, but few soar to the heights found in this transcript. Earlier this year, the attorneys in Anthea Mendez v. JP Morgan Chase sat down for a nice deposition and watched as everything went wildly off the rails in a cascade of allegations of professional squabbling, sexist treatment, and at least one dick joke. And the backpedaling… the delicious, delicious backpedaling.

You may not believe a deposition really got down to this level, but, well…

Wow. That’s attorney Brian Rich of Halloran & Sage. Back in August, he attended the deposition of plaintiff Anthea Mendez when he got into a dispute over scheduling emails with Mary Alice Moore Leonhardt, now of Rome McGuigan. After a break, Rich put the above description of this exchange on the record and launched into a speech shaming Leonhardt.

Well, sure. Let that statement speak for itself, and —

Oh. So by, “I won’t comment any further,” you meant, “I’m about to comment further.” Fine.

Well, what did Leonhardt have to say about all this?

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Oh.

Well, in case you were wondering, the answer is no, there is no plausible excuse for ducking your head under a table and implying your opposing counsel is a dickless wonder. If you’re going to go down this road, you need to go full Joe Jamail and just own it because this backpedal is far more pathetic than the original action.

Leonhardt describes Rich’s treatment of her throughout the case as condescending and sexist, and states that the scheduling email dispute arose because Rich kept badgering her for responses during the deposition they were both in.

Rich disputes this interpretation:

OK, then let’s move on —

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Jesus. For a record that supposedly speaks for itself, Rich thinks it needs a lot of color commentary.

PEANUTS!!! This is fantastic. That’s Janine Hodgson of Fontaine Alissi joining the party. Later on, she alleges that the witness threatened her for making this statement, and it’s telling that an alleged witness threat is the least ridiculous thing happening in the transcript.

By the way, if you’re wondering, Leonhardt explains the “Peanuts” outburst.

Ah. Well. Yeah, that speaks for itself.

This sparks more posturing between Rich and Leonhardt about “calling the judge” — the most overused and least acted upon threat in deposition history — before Leah Nollenberger of Cooney, Scully & Downing ended this petty bickering and returned us to the real burning questions at the heart of this litigation (selection begins with a comment by Brian Rich):

Indeed.

Leonhardt takes the stage later to apologize for her behavior — sort of — while trying to earnestly explain what got her worked up.

At this juncture, Rich said he accepted her apology and apologized himself if anything he’d said or did had inadvertently come across as condescending. Nah, just kidding, he doubled down on his shrill complaining that this was the worst affront in legal history.

Let it go, dude.

Finally.

F**k you. Can’t someone please just let this thing speak for itself?

You know what, folks? You’re right. This transcript does speak for itself and it says a lot about all of you.

(Check out the complete transcript, attached to this Motion for Court-Supervised Deposition, on the next page.)

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