Never Complain To Clients Or Adversaries

Even trial lawyers that learn and have fun all the time deal with frustrations and have their gripes. But we should never share those gripes with those we are supposed to serve, or those adverse to us.

Even trial lawyers that learn and have fun all the time deal with frustrations and have their gripes. But we should never share those gripes with those we are supposed to serve, or those adverse to us.

Being a litigator is a great job. Just this week I was having a drink (or several) with a great trial lawyer and, even after more than three decades of combined experience between us, we were expressing thanks for how challenging and fulfilling our work is, and how it allows us to engage others and affect the world. While our enthusiasm may have been enhanced by the Irish whiskey we shared (since most good feelings are multiplied when Irish whiskey is present), American lawyers who are fortunate enough to work in law offices where they are valued should be thankful for the great work they have.

Of course, it is not always great every single moment of every single day. We all deal with frustrations in our work, including from clients and adversaries and judges and sometimes our colleagues as well. And beyond work frustration, we fight to win (or at least we should) and it can be tough to lose, especially for a client or cause we care about. Our job has the possibility for both highs and lows in a single week, even in a single day (which is one of the things that makes the job so good). But it’s undeniable that you can always find something to complain about.

I’ll discuss our firm’s No Complaining Rule at another time (including the exception to it – it also involves Irish whiskey), but my admonition today is to take particular care in not complaining to clients or adversaries. Very simply, doing so will make you lose and will hurt your client relationships.

In our entitlement culture, it seems most of us are very comfortable complaining about just about anything. Lawyers are no different than others. What I have seen more and more is lawyers complaining to their own clients—about the adversary, about the judge, about how hard they worked on something, or about goodness knows what. This is bad practice. You are not there to commiserate with your clients, but to win for your client. Your client is not your therapist or friend. He or she is your client and hired you to provide counsel and to win. If you complain to your client, you will not only likely lose some respect from your client, but you also will not be able to give the direct advice a lawyer can give a client. You serve your client best by maintaining your role as lawyer to your client. And you do that by not complaining or venting to your client.

You also serve your client by never, ever complaining to adversaries. In an age where litigation communication is more familiar — you no longer write a court a letter that must be hand delivered, but, increasingly, counsel correspond with Court by email — relations between lawyers have also become more familiar. With such familiarity I have seen complaining to judges — perhaps even worse than complaining to clients — and, even more, complaining to adversaries. We write emails too quickly (as I’ve written before). And that includes making whiny comments in emails to adversaries. Do not do it. You may think the procedural posture of your case is frustrating or unfair. You may not like a recent judge’s decision. You may be stressed. If you need to, vent to a colleague. But do not vent to an adversary. You will likely reveal information you should not. You may embolden an adversary to be more aggressive or assertive, or even more careful. You will certainly not help yourself or your client by complaining to someone who, if she is doing her job, will take advantage of every opportunity to try to beat you.

Even great jobs have tough moments, and all of us need to unwind and vent sometimes. But be smart and never vent to clients or adversaries.

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John Balestriere is an entrepreneurial trial lawyer who founded his firm after working as a prosecutor and litigator at a small firm. He is a partner at trial and investigations law firm Balestriere Fariello in New York, where he and his colleagues represent domestic and international clients in litigation, arbitration, appeals, and investigations. You can reach him by email at john.g.balestriere@balestrierefariello.com.

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