Nude Dancing, Small Law Firms, Solo Practitioners

Back In The Race: 5 Things Lawyers Can Learn From Strippers About Sales

Strippers use certain techniques to grab their clients’ attention and to get their money -- and some of these techniques can apply to the legal profession, as columnist Shannon Achimalbe explains.

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resume girlMen entertain themselves in all kinds of silly and destructive ways. But there is something to be said about going to strip clubs. I used to think that the women who worked there were the lowest of the low and gave the feminist movement a bad name. But now, I realize that many veteran strippers are masterful saleswomen who know how to market themselves to their clients.

Strippers are taught to use certain techniques to grab their clients’ attention and to get their money. Some of these techniques can apply to the legal profession.

1. Understand that potential clients want to meet you for a reason. Men go to strip clubs for a very specific reason: they think they can get lucky with a stripper. If they just want to have fun, there are plenty of other places they can go. Strippers know this and try to play into every male fantasy in order to get their money.

Similarly, people call lawyers for specific reasons – namely to solve legal disputes or clear up legal issues in a transaction. They are not calling to chat and share recipes. So you have to act and behave appropriately and professionally, especially at a first meeting. You must be ready to answer any questions that they have and be ready to take their case. Otherwise, they will go somewhere else.

2. Know and cater to clients’ fears and insecurities. Experienced strippers have met many types of people and know how to take advantage of them. Some men are lonely because they don’t have a girlfriend. Or they are upset with their current one. Or they may be heartbroken after a breakup. Strippers will exploit their emotional vulnerability by using specific pitches designed to coddle and comfort while leaving them longing for more – for a price.

Lawyers should also understand the potential client’s mindset. Potential plaintiff clients will be angry so the lawyer needs to convince them how he can not only win but also make his adversaries suffer. Potential defense clients are likely to be scared so they will need solace, assurance that they will be protected, and willingness to take the offensive when the opportunity arises.

3. Give them a free preview. When someone walks into the club, a stripper will be aggressive. She will come up to him, get chatty, and get him excited by flirting with him and touching him suggestively. But what the strippers are really doing is giving him a free preview and a shot at fulfilling his fantasies if he pays for a lap dance or the VIP champagne room.

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When lawyers give free initial consultations to potential clients, the purpose is not to give answers right then and there. Those who do end up getting played like a chump. The purpose is to understand the client’s situation, see if they can get along, determine whether the client has the ability to pay legal fees, and then collect a retainer.

4. Upsell. The stripper wants to make as much money off of her client as possible. If her client pays for a lap dance, she will try to upsell another one. Or she will try to invite him to the Champagne Room, where supposedly anything goes. But we all know that no matter what a stripper says, there is no sex in the Champagne Room.

Lawyers should find upsell opportunities by offering to provide additional value to their clients. Did you set up a corporation for them? Offer to preside over the annual corporate shareholder meetings. Offer to mediate any disputes between directors and officers. You get the idea.

5. Have “regular” clients. A stripper may have one or more “regular” clients who want to see only her. A client becomes a regular because the stripper established a special relationship with him that breaks some of the house rules. She knows how to arouse the client in just the right way. They have long and deep conversations and share secrets. The clients see these strippers as therapists, confidants, and something more. To strippers, regulars are steady income streams and may provide material help in other ways.

Lawyers should also have “regular” clients by developing special business relationships. Clients will trust you and turn to you with all kinds of legal problems, including some that can be very lucrative. Go the extra mile if needed. Give them concert tickets and presents once in a while. Offer to help with any charities your clients are associated with. The one advantage lawyers have over strippers is that their clients are willing to refer others.

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I realize that comparing attorneys to strippers sounds like a typical lawyer joke. But when strippers make thousands of dollars per night from wealthy people and cheapskates, lawyers can learn a thing or two from them. So partners, if you find out that some of your associates (or summer associates) got drunk at a local strip club, see if you can turn this into a teachable moment in law practice management before deciding to discipline them.

Earlier: Biglaw Blind Item: A Partner Walks Into a Strip Club…
A Stripped-Down Summer Associate Event At A Top Biglaw Firm

Shannon Achimalbe was a former solo practitioner for five years before deciding to sell out and get back on the corporate ladder. Shannon can be reached by email at sachimalbe@excite.com and via Twitter: @ShanonAchimalbe.

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