What Law Professors Think

What's going on in your law professor's mind during class?

keep calm fear terror scared classroom teacher professor student law schoolA lot of people wonder what is going on in the minds of their professors. I don’t know. I only know what goes on in my mind during class. Most of it has to do with making sure that students understand the nuances of the particular cases and issues of the day. The rest looks something like this, for a class that starts at 9:30:

9:31 a.m. I have dashed the hopes and dreams of my students who believed I might not show up. Some already began the 10-minute countdown from undergrad (professor not here after 10 minutes means we can leave). Also, why is the clock in this room always wrong? I’m five minutes early. Really.

9:32 a.m. Asked about the first case. Student is giving me perfect verbatim recitation from the Casebriefs outline. I think I’ll ask some questions about things not in the outline to assure him that Casebriefs were not in the assigned reading.

9:35 a.m. Student now visibly sweating.

9:40 a.m. Moved on to different student. New student has asked an insightful question. The force is strong with her. “Let me think about this a bit.” I continue to ponder the question as I ask her more questions. She sees where I’m going and mentions the note at the end of the case. Damn it, you killed my hypo!

9:45 a.m. It’s early in the school year, so I expected this. Is he saying I’m wrong because I’m wrong, because he wants to see what I’ll do if he says I’m wrong, or is this the alpha male game where the dude wants to try to assert dominance? I’ll ask a question to him to find out.

9:47 a.m. Okay, totally alpha male bullshit. Setting phaser on emasculate.

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9:50 a.m. I’ve just assured one bad evaluation at the end of the semester. Time to move on. Okay, some questions. Let’s see. Some puzzled reactions. Better go over this some more.

9:55 a.m. Okay, understanding seems to have set in. One student still looks confused. Hope he comes by after class to clear things up.

10:00 a.m. First student gets up to go to the restroom. Okay, must remember to summarize when she gets back to her seat so she knows what she missed.

10:05 a.m. Summary complete. First bathroom runner has caused a second, who apparently was less brave because she’s walking much faster than the first.

10:10 a.m. Next case. Dude, do not READ the case to me. I’ve already read. I wanted you to tell me the RELEVANT facts, not every fact. Let’s see if you notice the difference. I’ll ask you a few questions to parse them out. Hmmm… still not clear. Let me try something else. Nope, reminding self to drill him more deeply about relevant facts next go round.

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10:15 a.m. I think I have an answer to the question asked at 9:40.

10:17 a.m. Gunner student has thought about my answer. Asks a follow-up question. Good. A deeper level of understanding has taken place. And I learned something, too. How cool is that?

10:19 a.m. Okay, gunner. Settle down!

10:20 a.m. Fatigue has set in. One person is clicking on his laptop a lot. Is he playing a game or shopping? So hard to tell. I’ll walk by him. Yep, he’s shopping. No self-respecting gamer would sacrifice the game even if a prof is nearby.

Student asking question after I say, “Let’s move on to the next case.” Hmmm… he’s done that a lot. Is this a deliberate delaying tactic? I need more data points.

Two other students are IMing each other. You can always tell by the smiles at the wrong time, and the knowing nods and looks to one another. At least sit by one another if you are going to do that. Jeez.

Dude, don’t passive-aggressively look at the clock. You know full well your laptop tells time. I think I’ll call on him or maybe do my patented death stare.

10:22 a.m. Confusion about the third case. Uh-oh. Let me back up a bit. Blank stares. Funny looks. Wait, is my fly open? No. Whew. Okay. So have to think. What analogy can I use?   And why is Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in my head? Oh, yeah, I get it. Funny, subconscious. Wait, student was asking me a question in the soliloquy. “Can you repeat your question?”

10:30 a.m. Okay, good, got that under control. They’re getting it. Sniff. So proud of them. Except the alpha male guy. I need to make nice with him. Why do I always have to be the grown-up? I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna!

10:33 a.m. OMG, lots of passive-aggressive eye-rolls from people after that student asked that question. Not nice. I understand where the question comes from, so I have more empathy. But slightly amused by their reactions. Have to keep my poker face. … P p p poker face, p p p poker face… curse you, Lady Gaga.

10:55 a.m. Good class. Rough in the middle, but they get the fundamental concepts. We’ll drill down a bit more tomorrow. Wait…. why is that student packing up his belongings? We still have 5 minutes left! Grr. Time to add some important material from the notes. Makes a note to add it to the final exam.

Class over. I’ll linger at the front in case anyone has any questions…. okay, they are all leaving. I’ll see them two days before finals about that last case.


LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here and on Twitter (@lawprofblawg). Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.