Small Law Firms

Crossing The Keurig Rubicon

Columnist Gary J. Ross is very excited about his small firm's brand new coffee maker. It's a Keurig!

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Gary J. Ross

Gary J. Ross

This week, my firm crossed a threshold: I bought the firm its first coffee maker. And not just any coffee maker: I bought it a Keurig. No $19.99 [perfectly fine] Mr. Coffee or [environmentally friendly] French press here. Not at this law firm. We go big. We go Keurig! Only the best for my practice. (A part of me was a little disappointed it didn’t cost more.) There’s no going back now, particularly since if I had to bring the thing home it’d easily take up a third of my counter space.

What does it mean now that we’ve crossed the Keurig Rubicon? It means no more having to leave the office for coffee breaks. Now we only have to go ten feet! Then it’s right back to our desks where we belong. Now we can freely welcome clients into our domain, knowing we can present them with a nice piping hot cup of Green Mountain Coffee Colombian Fair Trade Select (or perhaps Gloria Jean’s Caramel Kettle Corn Coffee if we’re feeling frisky).

In Biglaw, the coffee machine was an afterthought. Sure, I paid attention enough to know I preferred Keurig to Flavia, but there were multiple coffee machines on every floor. Like a lot of things in Biglaw — clients, copying centers, car rides home, backstabbing — they were just kind of there. Not in SmallLaw. In SmallLaw, nothing is “there” unless you put it there.

Now a Keurig is there, sitting on a desk, rising from it like a lawyer rising to make an objection. A bulky lawyer, crowned in silver, with one side filled with water and the other shrouded in mystery, and with just the right dash of sexiness. (By the way, the star on the drip tray is a nice touch.) In fact, maybe I should name it. Does anyone know if Keurigs are males or females? Maybe I’ll name it something gender-neutral like Jamie or Pat, and then send out an announcement that “Pat Keurig” has joined the firm.

I can even use the Keurig in our marketing. We can put up a picture of this beauty on the website: “We’re here. We’re going to be here for awhile. And if you want proof, look, here’s our Keurig!” Include it in our elevator speeches: “We are a high-end corporate law boutique. We have a Keurig!” I know, I know — maybe the elevator speech could use some work. Trust me, it’ll get there. Trust the Keurig.

I trust the Keurig. I know it will spur the firm on to bigger and better things. More attentive service. More focus. Less sleep. The Keurig is going to be the light to our fuse. The spouse standing behind our star. I can’t wait to see where the firm goes from here. Today the Keurig. Maybe tomorrow a freestanding copier!

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Onward and upward.

Gary J. Ross opened his own practice, Jackson Ross PLLC, in 2013 after several years in Biglaw and the federal government. Gary handles corporate and securities matters for startups, large and small businesses, private equity funds, and investors in each, and also has a number of non-profit clients. You can reach Gary by email at Gary.Ross@JacksonRossLaw.com.

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