Associate Salaries, Biglaw, Money

Crowell & Moring Matches -- Wait, What In The Holy Hell Is Going On Here?

This salary following thing is getting a little out of hand.

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Businessman Thinking About MoneyI’ve been really sick for a couple of weeks. Hospitals and “teams” of doctors sick. The last story I read before I went into convalescence was Cravath finally raising associate salaries after nearly a decade of Biglaw salary stagnation. And now I come back to work to “Crowell & Moring Matches Cravath.” What the s***, man? This is why we can’t have nice things.

Tipsters report Crowell matched Cravath through their fifth-year associates in all U.S. offices. Sixth-year associates and those senior, including counsel, will learn about their raises separately.

This is all very nice for the Crowell people in our audience, and I don’t mean to rain on anybody’s parade, but in what freaking UNIVERSE is Crowell & Moring in the same “MoneyLaw Club” as freaking Cravath? The salary raise includes all U.S. offices, which I assume must include the firm’s office in Anchorage. So now a Crowell & Moring second-year in Alaska is getting the same as a Cravath second year in New York? How does that happen? The only raise a C&M Anchorage associate needs is an extra crate of seal blubber. I know you are lawyers, but did truly nobody teach you how money works?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on the NY to $190K campaign since November… 2011. But as I see middling Biglaw firm after middling Biglaw firm race to match Cravath on associate salaries, I’m forced to believe one of three things:

1. Cravath low-balled the entire market.
2. These firms have been sitting on piles of cash that they’ve just been HOARDING.
3. We’re all gonna die.

Last thing first:

3. David Lat has already thoroughly explored the “we’re all gonna die” angle. David “I want people to be happy and have nice things” Lat pleaded with firms to halt this disastrous trend of firms following the powerhouses when they can’t afford to. It leads to recession and sadness. It’s like that scene in the Dark Knight where all the fake Batmans are out there trying to fight crime, and Christian Bale has to remind them, “I’m not wearing hockey pads!”

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2. Unless they can afford it. It’s entirely possible that these firms, even smaller Biglaw firms, have been raking in the profits for years and have more than enough margin to throw their associates a little bit more money. Don’t forget, it’s been almost 10 years since the associate payscale saw a bump. Thanks to the recession, and the firms right-sizing their associate forces, demand for Biglaw jobs has been so high that no firm needed to raise salaries to compete. But once CSM moved the market, sure, all these guys could find some extra money to spread around. Firms could have paid their associates more generously for years, but screw ’em. Now that Uncle Parker down the block decided to give his kid a bigger allowance, it’s not going to break your bank to give the same bump to your kid — the money was always there.

1. Which brings me to my working conclusion: Cravath low-balled the entire market. Instead of creating meaningful salary competition that would be to the advantage of the truly financially strong firms, they tried to be cheap about it and only succeeded in giving everybody a raise. Thanks Cravath. It might be a de minimis amount of money to you, but you’ve made life a little bit better for the throngs of Biglaw associates who had lost buying power relative to associates 10 years ago.

We’ll eventually know whether Cravath started a virtuous circle or a downward spiral. In the meantime, congratulations Crowell & Moring. When my parents got me a Nintendo like all my rich friends had, I wasn’t bitching.

We are covering this story as market conditions develop, so please drop us a line — text (646-820-8477) or email (subject line: “[Firm Name] Matches Cravath”) — when you know of another firm making a compensation move. Please include the memo if available. You can take a photo of the memo and send it via text or email if you don’t want to forward the original PDF or Word file. All sources are kept strictly confidential.

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Earlier: Breaking: NY To $180K!!! Cravath Raises Associate Base Salaries!!!
Dear Biglaw Firms, Please Don’t Raise Salaries
New York to $190K? Actually, It’s About Time.

Elie Mystal is the managing editor of Above the Law Redline, the Legal Editor of More Perfect, a gentleman, a solid Overwatch player, and a person appreciative of all the well wishes he’s received while he’s been out of commission. Reach him @ElieNYC.

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