Holiday Parties: Does Everybody Know Your Name And Are They Always Glad You Came?

Should you be more selective in the invitations you accept?

holiday party Christmas partyIt’s now December, and most of us have been invited to a number of holiday parties. Some are quite lavish and act as fundraisers for a charity. Some are informal gatherings at the office or at someone’s house.

When I was younger, I tried to go to as many holiday parties as I could. They were a chance to check out new places, meet new people, and occasionally take advantage of free food and an open bar.

But as time passed, I have become more selective about attending. There are a few reasons for this.

First, you end up spending a lot of money. Some of these parties charge a cover, and with drinks, tips, and cab fare, the night can get expensive. See what happens when you repeat this for several nights. Obviously, you are not going to notice your credit card bill increase exponentially while you’re on your third glass of pinot grigio. As for house parties, a lot of them are potlucks. Even if they are not, you are required encouraged to bring a dish or drinks to chip in.

Second, you will run the risk of running into the same people at a different venue. For the extroverted, talkative type, this isn’t much of a problem. But for the rest of us, if you run into Bob, Stephanie, or Privileged Pierce for the third time this month, you probably won’t have much to talk about, and you’ll end up being bored for the rest of the evening.

Third, I am just tired. Lately, I’ve began to appreciate a nice, quiet evening at home, being able to sleep early and not waking up with a hangover.

But holiday parties are meant to be fun. All year long, making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got. So taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

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But as much as I would like to get away, I’ll be limiting which holiday parties I plan to attend this year.

I won’t go to parties where everybody knows my name. It’s nice and comforting to go to parties where you know everyone. But since I see these people regularly, there is a good chance I’ll have nothing more than dry conversations with most of them. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if the people are all the same and their troubles are also the same, I’ll get bored quickly and think of excuses for leaving early.

But doing the opposite – going to a party where you don’t know anyone – can also be intimidating. Just to be safe, I plan to bring one of my social butterfly friends to make the evening more interesting.

I will go to parties where they’re always glad I came. On the other hand, I really enjoy parties where I feel welcome. Most of you know what I’m talking about. The hosts do their best to ensure that you have a good time without being overbearing. Most of the attendees (whether I know them or not) are friendly and down to earth. I shouldn’t trouble the hosts as they have other things to do and other guests to attend to, but those little gestures mean a lot.

If you feel the same way I do about this, find out who is organizing the holiday party and ask around. If the organizer has a reputation for being a good connector and a great host, then make plans to attend. But it is up to you to make the most of the evening.

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Anyway, these are just my preferences this year, and you don’t have to do the same thing. Holiday parties are what you make of them. They can be a chance to meet new people, have a good time, or at least be nice to the people you can’t stand the rest of the year. But if you just want to spend the holidays at the bar you visit every Thursday night with Sam, Diane, Frazier, Cliff, and Norm, then more power to you.

In any case, have fun and stay safe. Happy holidays and Cheers!


Shannon Achimalbe was a former solo practitioner for five years before deciding to sell out and get back on the corporate ladder. Shannon can be reached by email at sachimalbe@excite.com and via Twitter: @ShanonAchimalbe.