New Legal Drama Set To Insult Our Intelligence Even More

Oh great! Another lawyer show!

tv screen remoteWith apologies to those who think Law and Order: SVU is the worst, the real champion of insultingly terrible legal drama is How To Get Away With Murder aka “The Paper Chase, but Kingsfield is a black woman… whose students kill people.” The scenarios are laughable, the dialogue grates on the soul, and the characters aren’t believable as law students… or people. I will give that show some credit for indirect authenticity, though. While the “case of the week” plots resolved themselves all too quickly, the confusing, frustrating, arbitrarily time-bending central mystery kept tediously dragging from episode to episode which, metaphorically, spoke to the reality of modern litigation.

And yet HTGAWM had its run at the top of the ratings heap — another in a long line of legal programming to insult our intelligence while duping scores of kids into embracing a harsh profession they almost definitely can’t hack.

Now we’ll get another one because life as a lawyer is one long whiffle bat beating in the groin.

According to Variety, ABC has ordered a new legal show out of Shondaland, because ABC literally will not stop until Shonda Rhimes produces its complete primetime lineup.

The untitled project is set in the Southern District of New York (SDNY) Federal Court, a.k.a. “The Mother Court”…

Raise your hand if you’ve ever used the phrase “Mother Court” unironically. If your hand is up, you were the clerk no one liked.[1] Congratulations.

Now we’re going to have to hear every overeager first-year twerp loudly brag in bars about going down to “The Mother Court.” I already hate this show. And they’re going to make that the title too, to ensure this moniker gets total societal penetration.

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and follows brand new lawyers working on opposite sides — both defense and the prosecution — as they handle the most high-profile and high-stakes cases in the country…

“Brand new lawyers,” eh? I’ll bet they’re all sexy and sassy and straight out of Middleton Law because Shondaland is the MCU for Sex and the City fans. In the interest of authenticity I’m sure they’ll spend the first season only be reviewing docume- LOL, no. They’ll be trying a capital terrorism case.

all as their personal lives intersect.

Of course they do!!! But not like normal “brand new lawyers” who only meet up at 3 a.m. McDonald’s runs or Above the Law parties. No, our heroes will be going out to chic clubs all the time and bemoaning how “late” it is while the bar is packed with 9 p.m.-level crowds and you realize that’s what passes for a late night in this universe.

I’ll also bet a junior defense lawyer starts f**king a prosecutor and it’s given the whole “star-crossed lovers” treatment right up until the prosecutor screws over one of the firm’s clients without any warning and there’s a tense confrontation — in the halls of the courthouse, because that’s where everyone hangs out — about “trust” and what “I thought we were.” I guarantee this makes it into the series.

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That is if the show makes it to series. ABC has only ordered a pilot so far. There’s still a chance this doesn’t happen.

But when does Shonda fail to get something on ABC?

ABC Orders Shondaland Legal Drama Pilot From ‘Scandal’ Scribe [Variety]

Earlier: Law & Order: SVU Is The Worst
The Mother Court: Tales Of Cases That Mattered In America’s Greatest Trial Court


[1] Unless you’re James Zirin. He can say Mother Court (affiliate link).


HeadshotJoe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.