Law Schools

Emory Law School Oversells Gala, Forcing Bill Clinton To Hang Out In Gym

Bill Clinton hasn't played a room of people this disappointed since...

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(Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images)

(Photo by Darren McCollester/Getty Images)

If I hadn’t watched a doctor get bloodied and dragged through an aisle, then I’d be ready to declare this the most egregiously mishandled instance of overselling this year. At least they put that guy on a later flight and, you know, will eventually settle with him for an undisclosed amount. Emory students and alumni aren’t as lucky.

Emory Law School spent months promoting its Centennial Gala, “the culmination of a weekend of reunion and Centennial-themed events.” Befitting an event of such grandeur, the school booked the ritzy St. Regis Hotel in Atlanta to host a glamorous party. After months of promoting the event and selling tickets at $150 a pop, Emory dropped some big news:

Emory University School of Law announced today that 42nd President of the United States Bill Clinton will deliver the keynote address at the school’s Centennial Gala. Former United States senator and Emory Law alumnus Sam Nunn will receive a Lifetime Achievement Award at the event, which will take place Saturday, April 29, 2017, at 6:30 p.m. in Atlanta.

I wonder how much that set them back. As we all learned throughout the election, the Clinton family is known to charge in the hundreds of thousands to regale audiences of well-paid professionals. Perhaps he’s doing this one pro bono. After all, he has that inaugural ball outfit he never got to use.

Too soon? Nope!

But here’s where Emory began their clumsy mismanagement of the affair. After announcing that Bill would be coming to the event, tickets started moving like hotcakes because, sorry Sam, nobody really gets hot and bothered thinking about the Nunn-Lugar Act anymore. Shockingly, the school wasn’t prepared for this and apparently kept selling tickets instead of keeping an eye on a hard cap.

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The St. Regis website says they can host up to 690 guests for weddings. Spoiler alert: Emory’s going to sell more than 690 tickets. In the face of adversity entirely of their own making, Emory’s reaccommodating everyone from a five-star hotel ballroom to….

The Emory University gym.

So in the span of a few days, your expectations for a $150 night of dancing like a star will be a little less this:

St. Regis

And a lot more this:

Sponsored

Gym

Which, in a sense, is a perfect metaphor for the election Clinton just went through.

Too soon? Nope!

Dean Robert A. Schapiro sent attendees an email on Friday:

As a result of the enthusiasm for this historic event, we have exceeded the capacity of the St. Regis Hotel to accommodate us.

Instead, we are pleased to welcome you home to campus, to celebrate the centennial of Emory Law. More specifically, as Emory University has for many of its most important gatherings in the past, we will be transforming the George W. Woodruff PE Center into a grand ballroom, to host the gala of a century for Emory Law.

****

As you know, the attire will be black-tie optional.

Will the locker rooms be available to gussy-up in? What a comically warmed-over load of BS. United Airlines CEO Oscar Munoz would smile at replacing the obvious entry point for an apology with a line like “we are pleased to welcome you home to campus,” except United wouldn’t grace a Delta hub like Atlanta with his attention.

In fairness to Emory Law, they say they’ll be able to transform this gym into something nice. They even have an artist’s rendering:

Emory Ball

I’m sure no one will miss the stylings of the St. Regis. And, as an added bonus, you’ll get the interminable lines caused by the Secret Service’s security theater. This just keeps getting more and more magical.

For those who are staying at The St. Regis, we will run a shuttle to campus, leaving from the hotel entrance at 5:45 p.m. and returning at the end of the evening.

Right. Because people flying in from out of town for the event probably booked rooms at the hotel for convenience. Sorry, suckers! Enjoy half an hour on a rented party bus.

I’m sure Emory is doing everything it can to make this event they best they can under the circumstances. A party in a gymnasium doesn’t have to be terrible if you have enough streamers and a really kicking prom theme like Enchantment Under the Sea or Cooperative Threat Reduction.

But as we all learned from United, a little bit of mea culpa can go a long way.

(Full email to attendees available on the next page.)

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