Drinking, Health / Wellness

A Girl Walks Out Of A Bar And Into Recovery

Lawyers are people too. We may bring all our underlying mental health baggage to the office and courtroom.

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Lisa F. Smith

Lisa F. Smith

I first became aware of attorney Lisa F. Smith and her wonderful, awarding winning book about her journey through addiction and recovery, “Girl Walks Out Of A Bar” (affiliate link) while I was doing my due diligence for my upcoming book, “The Addicted Lawyer” (affiliate link).

I, of course, ordered and read the book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I also had the opportunity to meet Lisa when I was in NYC. The author is as engaging, informative, and entertaining in person, as her book is to read. I highly recommend it. I reached out to her with a few questions.

BC: You go into heartbreaking and inspiring detail of your journey through addiction and recovery in “Girl Walks Out Of A Bar.” Give my readers a preview of your journey while you were a practicing attorney in New York City.

LS: Thank you for inviting me to share this with your readers, Brian. My journey at least started out similarly to those of many young lawyers. I did well in college, got strong grades and made the Law Review in law school, and then went straight on to a giant firm as a junior associate. It was at that point that the wheels started coming off. I now know that I had an underlying depressive disorder, which I began to medicate more and more heavily with alcohol as the pressure of work and a crazy life got to me. I eventually landed in detox and learned to treat my depression appropriately as well as to stay sober.

BC: As someone who has sought help and found long-term recovery, why do you think it’s so hard for people in our profession to ask for help?

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LS: The ABA/Hazelden Betty Ford study reports that the most common barrier to a lawyer seeking treatment for a drinking problem is concern that others will find out they need help. I think that many law firms have a work hard/play hard ethic and that strength and stamina are prized. Think about all of the all-nighters on deals and cases. Even though by the time I got sober I was working on the administrative side of a firm, for me at least, I feared that if people knew I was dealing with substance abuse, they would no longer consider me to be capable and reliable.

BC: Do you think there is a culture of drinking in our profession? If so, how can we begin to change that culture?

LS: I do. Almost all law firm events that I’ve attended over 25 years in the profession have included alcohol. It’s at internal firm events and celebrations, and it’s certainly present at client entertainment events. I don’t think the culture can be changed overnight, but I do believe that the ABA/Hazelden Betty Ford study has raised awareness among firms that want to address this issue. This can easily include reevaluating the availability of alcohol at all events and how much socializing revolves around drinking. I’m encouraged.

BC: What our a few things we can begin to do as a profession to turn the tide of addiction among our own?

LS: We have to recognize that addiction is a disease and an ongoing condition to be managed, just as other medical conditions are managed. Last year, the U.S. Surgeon General released a report that recognized addiction as a chronic brain disease. That recognition can help break the stigma around addiction, changing the view that it is somehow a weakness or a moral failing. The more we talk about it and the more we educate ourselves, the more we can help our colleagues who struggle.

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Lisa’s journey was certainly different than mine in some key aspects. She was a high achiever both in law school and as an attorney. I pretty much slid through law school with the lowest possible work ethic while still being able to graduate. Her drinking issues became problematic during her professional career while mine began in college.

One thing we did share in common were the co-occurring, underlying mental health issues which are quite common when someone is struggling with addiction.  We both struggled with depression. This is critical because problematic drinking does not occur in a vacuum. It becomes even more critical in light of the previously referenced study which found that almost one-third of practicing attorneys deal with some level of depression.

As I like to joke, lawyers are people too. We may bring all our underlying mental health baggage to the office and courtroom, baggage that may not have ever been dealt with or not dealt with effectively. These issues are often just under the surface, waiting to be triggered by the numerous stress triggers of our profession. If the underlying depression is triggered or exacerbated, that can lead to problem drinking or drug use.

For me, it was not enough to just deal with the present in the simple terms of getting sober. Maintaining long-term recovery meant dealing with how I got to that point which meant facing down issues like clinical depression which I had dealt with since my teens. Weekly therapy geared towards figuring the genesis of that depression was crucial. It would have been easy to say, “I’m sober, that’s enough.” I knew, however, that unless I allowed myself to be vulnerable and deal with those long-buried traumatic issues in my past, I would always be susceptible to relapse. I continue to work on those issues today.  Time for my psychiatrist’s appointment. Until next week.

Brian Cuban (@bcuban) is The Addicted Lawyer. Brian is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, The Addicted Lawyer: Tales Of The Bar, Booze, Blow & Redemption (affiliate link). A graduate of the University of Pittsburgh School of Law, he somehow made it through as an alcoholic then added cocaine to his résumé as a practicing attorney. He went into recovery April 8, 2007. He left the practice of law and now writes and speaks on recovery topics, not only for the legal profession, but on recovery in general. He can be reached at brian@addictedlawyer.com.

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