In-House Counsel

Impostor Syndrome: They'll Figure Out That You're Not Really That Smart

Are you a high-achieving individual? If so, you might experience this malady.

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dartboard pen inside straightAny regular reader of this column knows that I don’t do touchy-feely here. (For Chrissake, I wrote The Curmudgeon’s Guide To Practicing Law. I didn’t write The Mentor’s Guide To Not Offending Delicate Snowflakes.)

But I was required to take a course recently that caused me to reflect on something touchy-feely.

Here’s the backstory: By some standards, I’m a pretty accomplished guy. Michigan; Review; Coif; Ninth Circuit Clerkship; Big Firm Partner.

Twenty years ago, I was talking to another even more accomplished guy. He was Michigan; Review; Coif; Supreme Court Clerkship; Big Firm Partner.

After a drink or two, one of us mentioned a hidden fear: “It’s true that I operate at a pretty good clip. When somebody says something, I tend to understand it. And I often spy issues that others don’t. But the truth is, I really don’t see very much at all. I can’t solve hard problems, and I overlook stuff that I shouldn’t, and I miss things that are in plain sight. I just hope I can make it through my career without anyone realizing that I’m really not that smart.”

The other of us was startled: “You worry about that, too? I thought I was the only one who felt that way!”

Here’s the frontstory. (I know that’s not a word. But it should be. Shakespeare made up words, too, and he got away with it. I know, I know: But he was Shakespeare. Still.) Anyway, during my recent course, people were asked to write down their greatest fears. Then, they were asked to share them with the group. Curiously, they were all basically the same.

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Once we shared our fears, the folks running the program explained that almost everyone harbors the same basic fears. The big four fears are these: Fear of failure; fear of rejection; fear of mental or physical decline; fear of losing family.

Fear of failure picks up the fear of being revealed as a fool, which was the fear that my colleague and I discussed over drinks those many years ago. There’s a name for that fear: Impostor syndrome. (If you click through that link, you’ll find that the term “impostor syndrome” was coined in 1978 and that the condition is especially prevalent among high-achieving individuals.)

People will admit to subsidiary fears — fear of heights, or public speaking, or snakes, or whatever — but those fears aren’t ordinarily at the top of the list, because you can avoid the situations that trigger those fears. (Stay low, or in the back row with your hand down, or away from snakes, or whatever.) If you ask about people’s most basic fears, you generally hear about the big four.

I don’t know if the concept of “impostor syndrome” has been discussed before at Above the Law. (Maybe one of the touchy-feely columnists focused on it; I must have missed that day.)

I’m also not suggesting that impostor syndrome is disabling: You can live your life perfectly successfully while concealing the hidden concern that people will someday realize that you’re not that smart. (Shoot — I’m much closer to the end of my career than I am to the beginning, and no one has caught on yet. Maybe I’ll get outta here without having been discovered.)

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But it did strike me that many readers of Above the Law might have thought this feeling was unique to them.

If so, feel better now: You’re not alone. Impostor syndrome is widespread; it’s not a recognized mental disorder; and it’s experienced by two out of five successful people. (The other three out of five successful people really did just bumble their way into success. They’re actually not very competent at all, and people are whispering it behind their backs.)

That’s it for my public service announcement. Next week, I’ll go back to life as an in-house lawyer.

Mark Herrmann spent 17 years as a partner at a leading international law firm and is now responsible for litigation and employment matters at a large international company. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Inside Straight: Advice About Lawyering, In-House And Out, That Only The Internet Could Provide (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at inhouse@abovethelaw.com.

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