Why Lawyers Fear Seeing Therapists, And Why We Should Do It Anyway

Seeing a therapist is to acknowledge that you are human.

therapists couchAs mentioned earlier today by my colleague Staci Zaretsky, Sara Randazzo of the Wall Street Journal wrote an article reporting that “[s]ome U.S. law firms are tackling mental-health issues head-on. They’re offering on-site psychologists, training staff to spot problems and incorporating mental-health support alongside other wellness initiatives.”

Hooray for the law firms that are finally recognizing that lawyers are not robots. Lawyers are of course humans and we have emotions, feelings (yes, for real), mind, and body.

Thanks to the work of many, including Patrick Krill, we know that lawyers are suffering from stress, anxiety, depression, and alcohol/substance abuse. Yet, little has been done to address these issues. The “solution” for many law firms seems to be denial. Let’s pretend that these numbers don’t apply to our lawyers. Let’s pretend that mental-health issues can be cured by paying a high enough salary and bonuses.

If you happen to be part of the 28% of the lawyer population struggling with depression, then you’re stigmatized — the depression seen as a personal failing. If you’re part of the 20.6% that screen positive for harmful alcohol-dependent drinking, then just QUIT drinking! If you’re part of the 19% and 23% that are struggling with anxiety and stress, well, quit whining. Just work harder! Bill that extra 0.1 hour.

I found Dentons global chairman Joseph Andrew’s view on what it means to see a therapist to be interesting. He said that while he applauded Hogan & Lovells for having an on-site psychologist, the fear of offering such a service is that “our competitors will say we have crazy lawyers.”

So, let’s review. Everyone knows there’s a 6 ton elephant sitting in the room — lawyers struggle with a disproportionately high levels of stress/anxiety, depression, and substance/alcohol abuse. This information isn’t a secret. EVERYONE knows it. Likely, including the clients. Yet, law firms aren’t willing to address the problem because they fear their clients will think the lawyers are “crazy.”

Setting aside the obvious point for a moment that depression and substance/alcohol problems do not make you “crazy” and that these are very treatable issues, it is precisely these types of stereotypes and stigmas that keep the lawyers in the vicious cycle of mental illness.

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I’ve talked to so many lawyers who are suffering from various issues — insomnia, burnout, depression, stress/anxiety — but they fear by getting help because they will be seen as weak, seen as not effective, seen as a “failure,” or seen as “crazy,” so they don’t get the help they need. Of course, the problems then become worse over time, which only intensifies the fear of seeking help. So, the cycle continues, on and on.

It’s not unusual for lawyers to pay for therapy and other help out of pocket (and not bill it through the firm’s insurance) because even though it’s confidential, they still fear being found out.

Wellness isn’t just about having lack of illness. According to the World Health Organization, mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.

As a law firm, don’t you want everyone to have mental, emotional, and physical health? Don’t you want to have productive members on your team? Is it really possible to have a firm that is servicing the clients optimally when a third of your workforce is struggling with mental-health issues?

Last year, at Shape the Law Unconference, we specifically addressed the issue of wellness. During one breakout session, one attorney shyly mentioned she sees a therapist weekly as part of her well-being strategy. There were perhaps 40 other attorneys in that session and approximately half also admitted they too see a therapist. We engaged in a fruitful conversations about the many benefits that comes from therapy and also the stigma attached to seeing a therapist.

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My fellow columnist and friend, Will Meyerhofer, former lawyer turned therapist, writes about therapy over on this blog, The People’s Therapist.

Over the years, I’ve met with therapists who practice various modalities. Cognitive behavioral therapists, somatic therapy, psychotherapy, mindfulness, psychiatry, in both individual and group settings.

Sometimes, I sought out a therapist because I was in crisis, and other times, I met with a therapist because I simply wanted to be more productive, and be my best self.

Seeing a therapist is to acknowledge that you are human and as humans, subject to human experiences. This includes a full set of emotions, feelings, and yes, sometimes, mental-health issues.

It doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a lawyer or are “crazy.” It doesn’t mean you should leave the profession. It simply makes you human.

If you were experiencing chest pain, you’d go see a doctor, right? Similarly, you should go see a therapist when life feels overwhelming or you’d simply like more (or better) tools in your toolbox.

Therapy has allowed me to see that the things I struggle with aren’t unique to me. It’s part of being human. It’s given me tools for being a better communicator, a better problem solver, and being better at managing difficult emotions and conflicts. It’s taught me to be gentler with myself. It has helped me to pay attention to my own well-being.

EarlierSome Law Firms Try To ‘Eliminate Stigma’ From Attorneys Struggling With Mental-Health Issues


Jeena Cho HeadshotJeena Cho is the author of The Anxious Lawyer: An 8-Week Guide to a Joyful and Satisfying Law Practice Through Mindfulness and Meditation (affiliate link). She regularly speaks and offers training on mindfulness and meditation. You can reach her at hello@jeenacho.com or @jeena_cho on Twitter.