Monkey Mind: Pre-1L Summer Reading

If you’re about to embark on that great journey that is law school, here's a book you ought to read.

I often read things in the summer I would never read during the school year.  For example, during one summer, I read a bunch of Russian literature. (No, not recently.  Why do you ask?).  Another summer I devoted myself exclusively to astronomy books.  This summer has been more eclectic.  And it started with a book called “Monkey Mind” (affiliate link).

The term “Monkey Mind” stems from Buddha.  It is said that Buddha spoke of the voices in our head as monkeys clambering for attention.  One way to eliminate the Monkey Mind is through meditation, which Buddha was purportedly happy to teach.

Daniel Smith’s memoir derives its name from this notion.  “Monkey Mind: A Memoir of Anxiety” is a brilliant, first-person narrative of what it is like living with generalized anxiety disorder.  Smith describes all of the symptoms, from the racing mind, the stomachaches, and the hyperventilation in compelling yet humorous detail.  If you have monkey mind, this book is great reading.  If you don’t, read it anyway.  Sometimes it is easier to see these kinds of issues in others rather than in us.

If you’re about to embark on that great journey that is law school, I recommend this book to you.  Many students typically exhibit one of the key symptoms, whether they suffer from generalized anxiety disorder or not:  They tend to ride the slippery slope of self-doubt into overwhelming thoughts of imminent doom.

For example, here’s a slippery slope common to 1Ls:  I’m going to get called on.  I don’t know the case well.  I’ll look stupid.  The professor will think I’m stupid.  My classmates will think I’m stupid.  No one will want to study with me.  Because of that, I’ll miss out on things they know. I’ll do worse on the final, and get put on academic probation.  I’ll get kicked out of law school, and end up as a laughing stock in front of the whole school.    

Here’s another one I hear:  I don’t understand this one concept.  Because of that, I won’t do well on your final.  Because of that, I won’t get a job.  Because I won’t get a job, I’ll end up working at someplace awful and not be able to pay my student loans, even as I live in a cardboard box.

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It’s near bar exam time, so I’ll add this:  Everyone else seems to get this concept.  I can’t understand it.  I’ll never understand it.  Ever.  It’ll be on the bar, and I’ll screw it up, and not pass.  And everyone will know, and I’ll be humiliated, fired, and branded an idiot.

This is all monkey mind.  Professors do it, too.  Often times we will even do it aloud in faculty meetings, as we describe the inevitable catastrophe that will befall the school if the dean chooses to do X, not X, or anything besides breathe.  In the case of my former dean, even breathing was ill-advised.

Heck, the reason lawyers are good at law is we are good at spotting potential problems.  When you draft a contract, you anticipate worst-case scenarios.  When you litigate, you anticipate the worst case for you when you expect your opponent’s best case.  In short, it’s part of the job description.  But that doesn’t mean we need to take our work home with us or let monkey mind be debilitating.

Thus, if you’re heading into law school, it’s important to quiet that monkey mind as much as possible.  Mindfulness is about focusing on the present.  It is in the “what ifs” of the future that thoughts can get away from you.  Being present and focused tames the monkey mind.   There are many tricks to doing so, like breathing, yoga, meditation, therapy, etc.  There are many bad ways to quiet your monkey mind, too.  There’s a reason lawyers have a fairly sizeable substance abuse problem.  New lawyers are especially prone to this risk.

The journey of Daniel Smith is one of pain, described with the tenderness and humor one might save for a vanquished opponent who one day might return.  For that reason, it’s worth the read.  Because it is summer.  And you’re about to start law school.

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LawProfBlawg is an anonymous professor at a top 100 law school. You can see more of his musings here He is way funnier on Twitter.  Please follow him (@lawprofblawg). Email him at lawprofblawg@gmail.com.