Non-Sequiturs: 06.05.17

* Commuting to work counts as "work," according to the European Court of Justice. I think five-year-olds everywhere would agree. [Independent] * Harvard College rescinded the offers of 10 prospective students for trading sexually explicit memes and messages targeting minorities. When reached for comment, the Alt-Right First Amendment brigade decried the school's lack of "intellectual diversity" probably, before masturbating to Birth of a Nation. [Harvard Crimson] * Adam Feldman Empirical SCOTUS breaks down how the Court can avoid the stupid Travel Ban. [Empirical SCOTUS] * Bill Cosby walked into his trial with Keshia Knight Pulliam. Pulliam played "Rudy" on the popular television show "The Cosby Show," which has now been ruined forever. [The Root] * Everybody is enjoying the Real Press Sec Twitter bot. [The Hill] * Flint is one of those places where white people are winning the race war. [New York Daily News] * Trump's support didn't predominately come for the white working class. It came from the white stupid class. [Washington Post] * Since the Nazis have won anyway, sure, I'm ready for some football. I guess. Who cares. I envy the dead. [Deadspin]