Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 06.09.17

* Donald Trump has said that he is willing to testify, under oath, to dispute James Comey's Senate testimony. The progressive stages of grief go something like this... Denial: He'll never do it. Anger: He SHOULD, lying orange f**k. Bargaining: 'Course, he's crazy enough that he just might do it. Depression: Like any of these spineless Republicans would prosecute him for the perjury he'd certainly commit anyway. Acceptance: Donald Trump is going to be president for the rest of my life. [CNN] * Deutsche Bank is standing by their man, and their man is Donald Trump [Levin Report] * ACLU is suing Missouri to stop implementation of Voter ID law. [Election Law Blog] * Uh oh, the police mistakenly left their latest young black shooting victim alive to tell his side of the story. [The Root] * This week in white people. [CNN] * Trump's social media director violated the Hatch Act. If Obama's social media director did that, it'd lead the news. If Hillary's social media director did that, there'd be Senate hearings. But it's Trump's so... people will treat it like the minor story it is. [Huffington Post] * White victimization media is very concerned about bad language. Yeah, the same people who elected the most openly foul-mouthed president since recording devices were invented are very concerned that Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been dropping some F-bombs at events. And they seem giddy that Reza Aslan has been dropped from CNN after some Tweets where he called President Trump a "piece of s**t." I gotta agree with CNN here: insulting fecal matter is unprofessional. Most decent people would rather have a steaming turd representing America than the orange embarrassment we're currently stuck with, so Aslan seems way out of line. [Breitbart]

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Donald Trump youre fired* Donald Trump has said that he is willing to testify, under oath, to dispute James Comey’s Senate testimony. The progressive stages of grief go something like this…
Denial: He’ll never do it.
Anger: He SHOULD, lying orange f**k.
Bargaining: ‘Course, he’s crazy enough that he just might do it.
Depression: Like any of these spineless Republicans would prosecute him for the perjury he’d certainly commit anyway.
Acceptance: Donald Trump is going to be president for the rest of my life. [CNN]

* Deutsche Bank is standing by their man, and their man is Donald Trump [Levin Report]

* ACLU is suing Missouri to stop implementation of Voter ID law. [Election Law Blog]

* Uh oh, the police mistakenly left their latest young black shooting victim alive to tell his side of the story. [The Root]

* This week in white people. [CNN]

* Trump’s social media director violated the Hatch Act. If Obama’s social media director did that, it’d lead the news. If Hillary’s social media director did that, there’d be Senate hearings. But it’s Trump’s so… people will treat it like the minor story it is. [Huffington Post]

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* White victimization media is very concerned about bad language. Yeah, the same people who elected the most openly foul-mouthed president since recording devices were invented are very concerned that Senator Kristen Gillibrand has been dropping some F-bombs at events. And they seem giddy that Reza Aslan has been dropped from CNN after some Tweets where he called President Trump a “piece of s**t.” I gotta agree with CNN here: insulting fecal matter is unprofessional. Most decent people would rather have a steaming turd representing America than the orange embarrassment we’re currently stuck with, so Aslan seems way out of line. [Breitbart]

Elie Mystal is an editor of Above the Law and the Legal Editor for More Perfect. He can be reached @ElieNYC on Twitter, or at elie@abovethelaw.com. He will resist.

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