Sex Scandals

Anthony Weiner Cries Because There's Nothing Left For Him To Do

Weiner cannot be incarcerated for long enough to punish him for what he's done.

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Former Congressman Anthony Weiner (D – HELL), was sentenced to 21 months in prison for sexting an underage teen and asking her to perform sexual acts on Skype and Snapchat.

The New York Daily News published a fairly arresting courtroom sketch of his sentencing:

(Jane Rosenberg for New York Daily News)

While “crying and grabbing tissue after tissue,” Weiner asked for probation for his crimes. From the NYDN:

“I victimized a young person who deserved better,” Weiner said in court. “I am not asking that I be trusted … I ask you for the opportunity on probation to keep my sworn oath.”

Judge Denise Cote was unmoved. “This was a serious crime, and it’s a serious crime that deserves serious punishment,” she said.

The 21-month sentence seems the least we can do to punish Anthony Weiner. People have been very focused on the political fallout from his behavior, but let’s not lose sight of the actual victim here. Anthony Weiner did not fall for “jail bait.” Weiner sexted a 15-year-old, AFTER he knew she was 15, and encouraged her to perform sexually explicit acts for his enjoyment. His conduct was gross and CLEARLY criminal. This is not about a famous man sending dick-pics out into the ether. This is about a 53-year-old man having an illicit relationship with a known 15-year-old. This is Humbert Humbert with a smartphone. It is not okay.

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But… I mean Jesus the political fallout from Anthony Weiner’s behavior is MASSIVE when you think about it. You don’t have to believe in chaos theory to draw the line here: if Anthony Weiner does NOT sext a 15-year-old, Hillary Clinton IS PROBABLY the first woman president. James Comey is probably still the director of the F.B.I. The government is protecting itself from foreign influence in our elections, instead of trying to pretend that it never happened. We’re not at war with North Korea.

Can you make an argument that all these things would have happened anyway? Sure. But as proximate causes go, Anthony Weiner is one hell of a Long Island Railroad employee.

Anthony Weiner’s penis is the Archduke Ferdinand of this timeline. His masturbatory fantasies are now in the Pantheon of historical “what ifs.”

He should be crying. We all should be crying. Anthony Weiner was sentenced for engaging in sexually explicit behavior with an underage girl. But Weiner sentenced America to 248 days (and counting) of total incompetence. He is a monster.

Anthony Weiner sentenced to 21 months in prison for teen sexting scandal [New York Daily News]

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