Morning Docket: 09.26.17

* Winston & Strawn becomes the latest firm slapped with a gender bias suit. The article is fixated on the fact that the plaintiff went to high school with Obama, but the more fascinating aspect of the story is that it "has not yet been previously reported," which I think means there's a time machine involved. [The Recorder] * As a general rule, if someone contemporaneously points out, "we're laundering money," it should raise a red flag. [Law360] * A new bill would exempt law firms from laws against abusive debt collection practices because some people don't think the legal profession is objectionable enough and maybe a policy carveout allowing them to send Rocko out to crack client heads might just do the trick. [Detroit News] * It's a shotgun wedding! If you replace "shotgun" with "risk that a material witness would be compelled to testify against me." [Lowering the Bar] * BarBri seems to have successfully escaped the $50 million antitrust lawsuit it faced. [Law.com] * Velcro has a music video urging people to call their product "hook-and-loop" to protect their trademark. Because if you want to reverse decades of informal association, try to convince people to use the stupidest name ever. [Velcro] * Could a Vulcan adopt a human child? Sure, but who wants to be a Vulcan? Tell me if I can ever realize my dream of being adopted by Zaphod Beeblebrox. [Legal Geeks] * Here's a disturbing video of a couple of ICE agents harassing an American citizen. Oregon lawmakers are calling for a federal investigation. When I recently spoke to former DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano, she explained how her office put in tremendous effort to ensure that immigration enforcement agents on the ground understood their legal limits. It would seem this administration is less focused on that. [ACLU of Oregon] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glb0LJ7XX_k