Small Law Firms

Adversaries Should Socialize With Each Other More Often

This can help build connections which can help lawyers achieve more positive results for their clients.

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The legal profession can be extremely adversarial at times because many matters are a zero sum game in which one party gains an advantage over another party with little middle ground that can satisfy both. Lawyers also have a duty to be zealous advocates of their positions, which requires them to pursue every avenue in order to achieve a favorable outcome for clients. As such, relationships between adversaries can deteriorate in many cases either because of interpersonal incompatibility or because of things that occurred during the course of a matter. However, adversaries should socialize with each other more since this can help build connections which can help lawyers achieve more positive results for their clients.

When I was an attorney in Biglaw, working on a few massive cases, I thought of adversaries almost like the enemy. I never had any interaction with adversaries, so there was no real way to put a face to the name and connect with adversaries on a more personal level. Our adversaries were almost like amorphous entities that were making our lives more difficult and against whom I needed to direct all of my efforts in order to obtain a favorable result for my client.

After I left Biglaw, I worked as a street lawyer, and I made court appearances, took depositions, and interacted with adversaries constantly. I really got to bond with adversaries during long waits for cases to be conferenced, during breaks at depositions, and at other times during the litigation. This experience showed me that adversaries are just human beings like everyone else who have to deal with the same issues with which most lawyers need to contend. This made it easy to connect with adversaries on a more personal level, which had a positive impact on negotiations during the life of a case.

However, it was when I was working as a mass torts lawyer, spending 60 to 70 nights a year in hotels that I really learned the benefits of socializing with adversaries. Often, I would need to take depositions in remote places where I knew absolutely no one except the people involved with the deposition. In many cases, the deposition would take weeks, and all of the attorneys wanted to do various social excursions when we were not taking testimony.

In many instances, I invited my adversary to meet up at social occasions on the road, and the experience was great not only in terms of socializing, but also in terms of providing benefits to my clients. Knowing my adversary in a social setting made it easier to ask for favors, and it also made it easier to deal with an adversary during negotiations. Plus, other lawyers are often the best people to hang out with, and I had some amazing times at bars, baseball games, casinos, and other venues with opposing counsel on a case.

Even if you do not spend so much time on the road in a location with your adversary, you can always ask an adversary to meet up in a social setting. I have done this many times throughout the course of my career, and this has had a positive impact on my legal work. Usually, after a court appearance, deposition, or other hearing, I will request that my adversaries join me for coffee or for lunch. Sometimes my adversary — but other times, adversaries — will take me up on the offer, and it is good to discuss matters unrelated to a case with an adversary. Of course, it is difficult in the present environment to socialize with adversaries because of social distancing precautions due to COVID-19. However, when circumstances permit, attorneys should consider asking their adversary to coffee or lunch after a proceeding at which the attorneys attend so that the benefits of creating a social connection can be realized.

In the best of circumstances, adversaries can absolutely be friends with one another, even though some lawyers may think that the requirement of diligent representation prevents this. I personally have many friends who have been adversaries over the years, and I have invited adversaries to birthday celebrations, house parties, and other events in the past. I have also attended a number of social occasions for adversaries that I have had over the years, and I have definitely incorporated many adversaries into my social life. This has benefited me greatly after I started my own law firm since former adversaries with whom I am friendly have referred cases to me, answered questions about legal issues, and provided other assistance that I would usually expect from friends.

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All told, the legal profession can be very adversarial in nature, and this can prevent lawyers from making social connections with adversaries. However, socializing with adversaries can not only have a positive impact on a representation, it can have a number of social benefits as well.

Jordan Rothman is a partner of The Rothman Law Firm, a full-service New York and New Jersey law firm. He is also the founder of Student Debt Diaries, a website discussing how he paid off his student loans. You can reach Jordan through email at jordan@rothmanlawyer.com.

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