Okay, make that yesterday. A reader email drew our attention to the saucy conclusion of Justice Antonin Scalia’s dissent in Roper v. Weaver:

The greatest harm is that done to AEDPA, since dismissing the writ of certiorari leaves the Eighth Circuit’s grossly erroneous precedent on the books. (That precedent, by the way, cannot be explained away—as perhaps the Court’s own opinion can—as the product of law-distorting compassion for a defendant wronged by a District Court’s erroneous action. As noted earlier, the Eighth Circuit was not informed of that erroneous action. It presumably really believes that this is the way AEDPA should be applied.)

Other courts should be warned that this Court’s failure to reverse the Eighth Circuit’s decision is a rare manifestation of judicial clemency unrestrained by law. They would be well advised to do unto the Eighth Circuit’s decision just what it did unto AEDPA: ignore it.

WHACK! As our correspondent notes: “Scalia manages to benchslap both the majority opinion and the 8th Circuit all in the same paragraph.”

Some of Justice Scalia’s colleagues get cheeky on occasion. Another tipster drew our attention to Part IV of Justice Stevens’s Bell Atlantic v. Twombly dissent — which Justice Ginsburg expressly declined to join, perhaps due to its ‘tude.

But at the end of the day, there’s no disputing this truth: When it comes to benchslaps, nobody does it like Nino.

Roper v. Weaver [FindLaw]
Bell Atlantic v. Twombly [FindLaw]

We’re on a roll today in the correspondence department here at ATL. This morning we brought you an email message from Professor Tim Wu, aka “Genius Wu,” young superstar of the legal academy.

And this afternoon, we proudly present this cyber-missive, typed by Article III fingers:

From: Judge Morris Arnold [email address redacted]
Sent: Wednesday, November 29, 2006 3:28 PM
To: AboveTheLaw Tips
Subject: AboveTheLaw Tip

Thank you so very much for the good wishes. I am on the mend and expect to be back up to full speed in very short order.

M. S. Arnold

First, we’re delighted to hear that Judge Arnold is doing so well. Second, we’re delighted that he wrote to us. How awesome is that?

After we put down our inhaler — we started hyperventilating from excitement! — we emailed Judge Arnold to check if it would be okay for us to post his message. And he graciously agreed. Thanks, Judge Arnold!

Earlier: Wishes for a Speedy Recovery to Judge Morris Arnold

Earlier this month, Judge Morris Arnold, one of the most respected federal appellate judges in the country, suffered a heart attack. From the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette:

Morris S. Arnold of Little Rock was hospitalized Wednesday night in St. Louis, where he is a judge on the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, after having a heart attack. Arnold, 65, officially took senior status less than a month ago. That designation reduces his caseload while he continues to serve on the court that hears appeals from federal courts in seven states including Arkansas.

U.S. Circuit Clerk Michael Gans said Thursday from the court’s St. Louis office that Arnold went to the hospital on his own after returning to his hotel at about 10:30 p.m. Wednesday and experiencing pains in his chest and arm that kept him from falling asleep.

Arnold had the heart attack while at the hospital, and doctors then surgically implanted a stent, Gans said.

We’re advised that the heart attack was minor and that Judge Arnold — known to some by his nickname, “Buzz” — is doing well. We wish this distinguished jurist, revered by the bench and bar and adored by his former clerks, a fast and full recovery.

Little Rock Appellate Judge in St. Louis Hospital [Arkansas Democrat-Gazette]

Driving through the great state of Missouri just got a little more interesting, thanks to the Sixth Circuit:

A Missouri law barring sexually oriented businesses from advertising within a mile of the state’s highways unconstitutionally limits commercial free speech, a federal appeals court ruled Monday.

A three-judge panel of the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals held that the law is unconstitutional “in its entirety” because it is not “narrowly tailored” to meet the state’s goals of reducing crime and improving traffic safety.

From now on, John Ashcroft is taking the back roads.

The appeals court also struck down as unconstitutional a provision of the statute allowing a sexually oriented business to display no more than two exterior signs on its premises. The provision limited the signs to stating the business’s name, address, operating hours and language giving notice that minors are not allowed.

“Should the affected business owner choose to post a sign with the price of gasoline, or a sign advertising a nationally known soft drink on the exterior of the business, he or she would be subject to criminal prosecution,” the court’s opinion stated….

The Eighth Circuit left intact, however, the statutory ban on outdoor advertising of Slurpees. The court held that this provision was well within the state’s “police power,” and necessary to protect the health and welfare of Missouri citizens.

Sex-ad billboards will stay [Kansas City Star]

* Immigration judges will be subject to annual performance reviews for the first time ever. Now the full extent of their incompetence will be revealed. [New York Times]

* Attorneys for the deceased Ken Lay begin the process of posthumously clearing his name. Death has some fringe benefits. [Houston Chronicle]

* You don’t need a lawyer to tell you this: Downloading kiddie porn on your office computer is a bad idea. A really bad idea. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* The Eighth Circuit upholds strip searches of juveniles; county detention center officials rejoice. Those guys are such perverts… [Sioux Falls Argus Leader]