The 10 Best Online Columns Of All Time . . .
Former Biglaw partner and inhouse columnist Mark Herrmann identifies the ten best online columns of all time.
. . . written by me!
The ten best columns of all time that I’ve written for Above the Law!
Why did I use that deceptive headline to entice you to click through and read this column? Because today’s my birthday! It’s the fifth anniversary (heaven help me) of when I published my first column here.
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I’ve learned from sad past experience that if I simply announce in my headline that it’s my birthday, nobody will click through and celebrate with me. (On my first birthday, when I simply published a birthday post, basically no one bothered to read what I’d written. But last year — when I used a different scam to entice you to click through — my online celebration was remarkably well-attended. Lying works!) Given the choice between sitting alone in my room and deceiving you into joining me, I’m naturally taking the unethical route: I’ve deceived you into clicking through, and we’re going to celebrate together, by God!
First, the basics: Five years. Roughly 350 columns. (I wrote two per week for the first two years and then kicked back into my current recreational pace of one per week for the three years since.) Folks have clicked through to “continue reading” my drivel over 3.5 million times. (Does that reflect worse on you or on me?) We’ll call this little experiment a success.
Next, what I (almost) promised in my headline: The 10 best online columns of all time . . . that I’ve published here at Above the Law.
First, the cutest:
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Navigating Financial Success by Avoiding Common Pitfalls and Maximizing Firm Performance
If that one doesn’t make you smile, you just don’t have a heart.
Second, the most widely read:
People clicked through to read that puppy more than 80,000 times. Above the Law can draw a heckuva crowd.
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Third, the funniest:
An Open Letter To The University Of Chicago Law School.
Alright, alright. I concede that I have an odd sense of humor. But I, at least, thought that one was a hoot.
Fourth, the one that achieved the most:
Hire This Unemployed Chicago-Kent Editor-In-Chief!
The person I profiled in that column had been unemployed for nine months after graduating from law school. The column enticed an inquiry or two, and the guy who I wronged by publishing my column (as so many commenters insisted) has been happily ensconced for the past four years as an associate at one of the world’s leading law firms. When I die, they may carve the title of that column into my tombstone as the one worthwhile thing I achieved in my life.
Fifth, the column that you should re-read if you’re an associate at a big firm:
If you’re a top-notch third-year associate at a big firm, you’re ferociously busy — partners need good associates. If you’re a top-notch junior partner at a big firm, you’re ferociously busy — senior partners need good junior partners. But if you’re a top-notch 50-year-old partner at a big firm, things may change. The lamentations of three partners that I recounted in this post may prompt you to think slightly differently about your future.
Sixth, my columns that you should re-read if you’re a partner at a big firm:
That column will tell you a couple of things to avoid when working with associates. (Incidentally, that column also drew the most comments of anything I’ve published here. 166 comments! ATL’s readership certainly knows how to abuse its bosses.)
I’m not stopping there. If you’re a partner at a big firm, you should also re-read these two columns:
My Wistful Day. (It’ll make you smile.)
And Building A Practice: A Case Study. (Everyone’s beating on you to develop business. Few people give precise details about how a practice was in fact built. That story is worth considering.)
Seventh, the column most widely “shared” by my readers on other social media:
385 shares! Remarkable. (Clever readers may have noticed that I also included that column as number two above — my “most widely read” column. I guess having folks share a column with others causes more people to read it. Hey — share today’s column! I want more people to celebrate my birthday!)
Eighth, my oldest column:
I can’t say that I started with a bang.
Ninth, my newest column:
Okay, okay: I haven’t yet created a bang. But I can feel one coming. Trust me.
Finally, the best series of posts I ran in this space:
It’s odd: You can write from one perspective — “how to be a good associate” — or you can write exactly the same stuff from the opposite perspective — “how to be a bad associate.” For some reason, the nastier perspective — how to screw up — draws more attention. I guess that I — who wrote not The Mentor’s Guide to Practicing Law but The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law — should have realized that truth long ago. But ATL’s readership continues to hammer home the point when my nasty-perspective columns consistently draw more readers than my nice-perspective ones. Go figger.
That’s it. My personal top ten list.
I’m sorry that I deceived you into reading this column, but really — what else could I do? I didn’t want to celebrate alone. I promise that I won’t scam you again — until November of next year.
Thanks for clicking through — both today and those 3.5 million others times over the past five years. Thanks for reading, and commenting, and sending me emails, and sharing your thoughts with me and my thoughts with others. You’re what makes this whole experience both possible and worthwhile.
In fact, help yourself to another piece of my birthday cake. Go ahead — you’ve earned it!
Mark Herrmann is Vice President and Deputy General Counsel – Litigation and Employment at Aon, the world’s leading provider of risk management services, insurance and reinsurance brokerage, and human capital and management consulting. He is the author of The Curmudgeon’s Guide to Practicing Law and Inside Straight: Advice About Lawyering, In-House And Out, That Only The Internet Could Provide (affiliate links). You can reach him by email at inhouse@abovethelaw.com.
