Abortion

Morning Docket: 11.09.11

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* Yet another appeals court has has ruled that Obamacare is constitutional. Aww, can’t we wait for the other side to catch up a little before it goes to the Supreme Court? [Wall Street Journal]

* How did it go for this controversial ballot initiative? As it turns out, the personhood amendment was so stupid that it couldn’t even pass in Mississippi. Color me surprised. [New York Times]

* Raj Rajaratnam has to pay $92.8M in penalties in his SEC case, but come on, he’s a billionaire. Much like the honey badger, Raj don’t care, and he certainly don’t give a sh*t. [Bloomberg]

* We thought this might be a swing and a miss, but the Dodgers won approval to pay Dewey & LeBoeuf and Young Conaway after hitting the Trustee’s curveball out of the park. [Businessweek]

* Best use of footnotes ever? Pitbull’s lawyers are trying to get LiLo’s case against him removed to federal court, and gossip rags are cited in the footnotes more than law. [Hollywood Reporter]

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Morning Docket: 11.02.11

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* “Rising tuition. Misleading employment statistics. Inadequate skills training.” So what are legal educators doing about it? Blogging, of course. [Law School Review]

* Trendspotting: cute judges the federal bench? The Senate has confirmed Loyola Law professor Stephen Higginson for a seat on the Fifth Circuit. [National Law Journal]

* People in New Jersey have morals. Who knew? When faced with aborting babies or aborting their careers, some nurses from UMDNJ decided to sue. [Washington Post]

* Elbert Lin is returning to Wiley Rein after a stint clerking for Clarence Thomas. We wonder what his wife would say about him if he was one of her LEWW contestants? [Blog of Legal Times]

* Another Real Housewife of New Jersey is facing legal troubles, but this time to the tune of $7.8M. Sorry Teresa, but at least Jacqueline Laurita’s got her hairline under control. [Huffington Post]

* Is Justin Bieber the father of a baby, baby, baby? That’s what a 20-year-old from California says, and she wants a paternity test to prove it. [New York Post]

Non-Sequiturs: 11.01.11

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That headband looked much better on the Childlike Empress in Neverending Story.

* Next week, people in Mississippi are going to vote on whether a clump of cells is a “person.” Are we really going to put this into the hands of people who can’t even spell the name of their own state? [New York Times]

* If you’re a trial lawyer, even imaginary friends will do. [Underdog]

* Finally, something entertaining and informative from a law professor that doesn’t cost $100,000: a series of rich shorts to give junior associates enough basics to avoid embarrassment when corporate assignments are handed out at the firm. [YouTube]

* I really wish that this comedian would actually sue Kim Kardashian over her sham marriage. Seriously. Next time, try to stay married until I finish watching your two-part wedding special. [VICE]

* Have you guys been wondering about Juggalo Law’s whereabouts? This might explain his absence. [Hit & Run / Reason]

* I am the 1%. And by that, I mean that I’m probably in the 1% of people who do not give one damn about this social movement. [Actually You're the 47%]

Quote of the Day: And What About Citizens United?

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My court has, by my lights, made many mistakes of law during its distinguished two centuries of existence. But it has made very few mistakes of political judgment, of estimating how far … it could stretch beyond the text of the constitution without provoking overwhelming public criticism and resistance.

Dred Scott was one mistake of that sort. Roe v. Wade was another … And Kelo, I think, was a third.

– Justice Antonin Scalia of the United States Supreme Court, commenting on several cases in which he believed SCOTUS had made mistakes of political judgment. His speech was given at the Chicago-Kent College of Law (which, as you may recall, is facing a potential class action suit over its post-graduate employment data).

Morning Docket: 09.13.11

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* Mississippi’s “personhood” ballot measure could ban not only abortion, but birth control, too. This is supposed to “protect women.” Protect women from what, their right to choose? [Huffington Post]

* This defense attorney has seen plenty of big cases before, but this may be his biggest one yet. Paul Bergrin has been given the green light to represent himself in his own racketeering case. [The Record]

* More doctors are facing criminal charges than ever before. Here’s an idea: stop helping cultural icons (yes, this includes Anna Nicole) OD, and we’ll stop prosecuting you. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Raj Rajaratnam still has no idea why he’s been convicted of insider trading, but he’ll have plenty of time to ponder the law if he gets the maximum sentence later this month. [Bloomberg]

* “One of the plaintiffs, Kyle Rooker, 14, has not declared his sexual orientation but . . . likes to wear glittery scarves and belt out Lady Gaga songs.” Most fabulous plaintiff ever? [New York Times]

* Why the hell does Baker & McKenzie think that its associates in Japan need spiritual guidance? Everyone knows that lawyers have no souls. [Careerist]

Benchslap of the Day: Sparks Fly When Judge Calls Lawyer ‘Incompetent’

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We briefly mentioned a lawsuit over the new ultrasound-before-abortion law in Texas back in June, and now it has turned into a full-blown media circus. The suit argues that this new law is unconstitutional, and it was brought by a group of Texas doctors who are being represented by the Center for Reproductive Rights. The case is being presided over by Judge Sam Sparks of the United States District Court for the Western District of Texas.

And thanks to Judge Sparks, sparks themselves are flying in his courtroom. Lawmakers have tried to intervene in this controversial abortion case at least twice before, and each time, Judge Sparks has politely rejected their attempts to butt in with their amicus briefs. The courtroom, as Judge Sparks sees it, is simply no place for political grandstanding.

But Judge Sparks must have been at his wit’s end with all of these amicus interlopers, because his last order with regard to the subject is anything but polite. You know you’re screwed when a judge has essentially called you an incompetent imbecile….

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Non-Sequiturs: 08.18.11

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Why your 3,500 sq ft wife shouldn't be driving a Lexis.

* Maybe we need law school law firms in the first place because law school professors — the ones who drill law into our heads for 3 years — are “incapable of practicing law.” [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* “Boss, I’m stuck in traffic. No, I’m literally stuck.” Driving your car into wet concrete is a pretty great way to perpetuate the stereotype that women can’t drive. Thanks for that. [Daily Mail]

* Star Wars Old Republic ships in November, so clients better get used to the old, “I’m too busy playing video games to attend to your matter” automated message. [Legal Profession Blog]

* If you’re Asian American and you want to be a lawyer, according to Lat it would be a good idea to have some social skills (not just study skills). [Northwest Asian Weekly]

* If you’re still thinking of taking the LSAT in October, get a leg up on the competition by getting inside the mind of one of the nerds who helped write questions for the test. [LSAT Blog]

* Proofreading is probably something that we here at Above the Law could stand to actually do every once in a while. [What About Clients?]

* Apparently, Tom Coburn forgot about the “tremendous advantage” he received from rich daddy Coburn of the “O.W. Coburn School of Law” Coburns. [Gawker]

* Alabama, I think you might be doing it wrong. Men aren’t supposed to get hosed at abortion clinics. [Constitutional Daily]

Non-Sequiturs: 08.01.11

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* A federal judge in Kansas has given Planned Parenthood’s Abortionplex a new lease on life. [WSJ Law Blog]

* What? A former Supreme Court clerk who got passed over for a job at a law school? Nicholas Spaeth, who’s also the former state attorney general for North Dakota, is suing the Michigan State University College of Law, for age discrimination. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times via SBM Blog]

* Interesting thoughts from Scott Greenfield on making executions public. I certainly don’t oppose more-comprehensive coverage of the criminal justice system in general. [Simple Justice]

* Elsewhere in criminal justice news, should prisons be run on a voucher system? Dan Markel offers some thoughts on Sasha Volokh’s interesting proposal. [PrawfsBlawg]

* An interesting profile of Alan Gura, the celebrated Second Amendment litigator, by a fellow small-firm lawyer, Nicole Black. [The Xemplar]

* Hopefully this will all become moot after a deal gets done, but remember the Fourteenth Amendment argument for Obama unilaterally raising the debt ceiling? Jeffrey Rosen thinks a lawsuit against Obama would get kicked for lack of standing — or might even prevail. [New Republic]

* But Orin Kerr believes that a recent SCOTUS case might change the analysis. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Howrey going to pay all the creditors? A lot turns on how some contingency-fee cases turn out, according to Larry Ribstein. [Truth on the Market]

* From in-house to the big house: former general counsel Russell Mackert just got sentenced to more than 15 years in prison for his role in a fraud scheme. [Corporate Counsel]

* Keep It Simple: a commendable theme for Blawg Review #313. [Patent Baristas via Blawg Review]

Pro-Life Billboard or Harassing Invasion of Privacy?

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Why don't you ask Kay Adams what she thinks about father's rights.

I’m all for father’s rights. I think they should be co-equal with mother’s rights just as soon as the child is born.

Before the child is born? When we’re just talking about cells that are parasitically living off of the mother in an invasive way as they mangle the woman’s organs, while the father says things like “you want ice cream and pickles, jeeze” then I think it’s okay to have the mother’s rights supersede the father’s.

Of course, there are tough cases. When the mother wants to get an abortion while the father wants her to bring the child to term, the situation calls for a reasoned and compassionate solution. As we think through what to do in these situations, we need calm and respectful discourse.

You know, the kind of things that work great on a giant billboard in the center of town…

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Roe v. Wade v. Siskel v. Ebert

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When Focus on the Family CEO Jim Daly recently conceded that opponents of gay marriage had “probably” lost in their efforts to convince young Americans that gay marriage is evil baloney, there was much celebration in circles that celebrate such things. I have it on good authority that Elie let out a big whoop upon hearing the news. Then he quickly got angry as hell about something or other. That guy.

Now that Christian conservative groups have given up trying to convince young people that gay marriage is wrong, they can redouble their efforts on the cinematic front. And that is something that we can all agree is great. Just great.

After the jump, enjoy the trailer for a movie that promises to do for the abortion issue what a banana did for the evolution issue (evolution is not an issue).

The film is called Come What May, and it involves a moot court competition and young love. And dead babies? Yeah, it mentions that once or twice….

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Lawsuit(s) of the Day Potpourri

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Lat’s at NALP – 2011. If you don’t believe me, see Above the Law, April 26, 2011.

If he was here, maybe we’d have the resources to give each of these entertaining lawsuits the full posts they deserve. Instead, it’s just me, and I’m a little pressed for time now that Harvard has decided to release the transcripts of every black person ever admitted so it can prove that we were all more deserving than George W. Bush.

So we’re going to have to tackle three fun lawsuits in one post. Breathe deep and smell of funny, my friends…

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Morning Docket: 03.30.11

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Jay Z (aka Shawn Corey Carter)

* A Libyan woman is being sued for slander over her rape allegations. Is this how the Libyan militiamen serve and protect their country? [Boston Globe]

* Call this one a learning experience. Pictures of things we now know we can’t post on Facebook: placentas, dead girls. [CNN Justice]

* Jay-Z is down to 98 problems, and that bitch Big Papi ain’t one. [New York Daily News]

* Are your tiny balls a matter of public record? Jason Giambi’s are after testifying at the Barry Bonds trial. [Bloomberg]

* Law firms will now receive a gold star if their women are making it rain. Guess my firm is out, I’m only making it hail. [National Law Journal]

* Michigan’s Attorney General, Bill Schuette, is suing a clinic offering non-peer abortions. [Chicago Tribune]

* Protip: if you’re going to pistol-whip your mom until she buys you a car, at least force her to buy you a new one. [ABA Journal]