Veteran Supreme Court litigator Thomas Goldstein, who founded Goldstein & Howe (and SCOTUSblog) before taking the helm of Akin Gump's Supreme Court practice, has a lot to crow about. He's one of the country's most celebrated appellate advocates, with 18 SCOTUS arguments under his belt.

But he hasn't let success go to his head. Instead, he's prepared this funny, charming, and self-effacing video advertisement. Check it out (via SCOTUSblog):

Tom Goldstein: Hire me for your Supreme Court case [YouTube]
Tom Goldstein Wants To Be Your Lawyer [SCOTUSblog]

Yesterday we talked about how summer associates should comport themselves at their law firms -- at least if they want to get offers at the end of the summer. Now we look at the flip-side: How should permanent or full-time lawyers, such as partners and associates, treat summer associates at their firms?

Here's an email that went around the Houston office of Akin Gump. The advice is pretty sound, so we thought we'd pass it along to you (with some commentary appended).

AKIN GUMP (HOUSTON) -- MEMORANDUM -- SUMMER PROGRAM 2008

Summer Program 2008: Dos and Don'ts

DO:

-- Coordinate lunches for the Summer Associate, especially in the beginning of the summer.

-- Introduce the Summer Associate to other associates and partners.

-- Help to control the Summer Associate work flow; help to find them work, if needed.

That last item may be easier said than done. See this WSJ Law Blog post ("This year, with the slowdown in transactions, some firms expect to have less to assign [to summer associates], particularly corporate work.").

-- Stay up-to-date on firm knowledge and issues so that you can honestly answer any questions. (Look at the "frequently asked questions" in the recruiting materials.)

Answer questions "honestly" -- but not too honestly. When asked about how much you work, trim the actual number of your hours by about 10 percent. And put a positive spin on everything. For example, if asked about the Akin Gump Escort, cite her as an example of how the firm is committed to hiring the best support staff money can buy.

-- Communicate often with the Summer Associate so that you can quickly handle any issues that may arise.

Communication, after all, is key to kindling romance with your SA. Recall that Barack Obama met Michelle Obama (née Michelle Robinson) when he was summering at Sidley.

-- Sell the firm with respect to the Summer Associate's career objectives and what our firm offers.

Sell, sell, sell -- this can't be emphasized enough. It's like that line from Glengarry Glen Ross: "A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!"

Additional tips for the care and feeding of SAs, below the fold.

So far this year, our ATL / Lateral Link survey results have produced tables on clerkship bonuses, signing bonuses and bar expenses, and relocation benefits, as well as parental leave (kudos, by the way, to Akin Gump and Andrews Kurth for moving to 18 weeks maternity leave recently).

But for many of these charts, there's a worrisome question lurking in the background: will you have to pay the firm back if you leave?

We received almost 400 responses to last week's ATL / Lateral Link survey on payback policies, and the most common answer appears to be "yes, but only if you leave relatively quickly." Most of you reported that your firms would require you to return clerkship bonuses, signing bonuses, bar stipends and expenses, and even moving expenses if you left your jobs within a year after starting. But relatively few firms imposed longer terms, and a fair number reported no payback requirement at all.

Find out which firms fall where, after the jump.

Here are a few quick updates on the associate bonus front:

1. Wilson Sonsini: On Monday night, the firm issued a long and complicated memo, which we've posted in all its glory after the jump. Since we haven't taken math since high school calculus, it went a bit over our head.

General reaction to the WSGR bonus news was less than positive. From one tipster: "My friends there are pretty pissed in light of Latham's bonuses." From another:

"Some constituent groups (those with low hours) are happy. Other groups (people who work for a living) are less happy. All associates outside of New York are upset that New York special bonuses were paid without a minimum hours requirement."

Under the WSGR bonus system, in certain class years, a lawyer in New York who billed 500 hours less than her counterpart outside New York could wind up with a bigger bonus.

2. Akin Gump (Washington, DC): On rather short notice -- the email went out at around 1 p.m., announcing a meeting at 5 p.m. -- a meeting to talk about bonuses was held on Monday in the D.C. office of Akin Gump. Here's the bottom line:

[T]he gist was that bonuses "ranged from $1,000 to 75,000," which basically means that if you are a first year (or any associate who started in the fall) you got $1,000, and the most senior associates who are most valued got $75,000. Associates were also told that the average was $25,000. This was not broken down by class year, hours, or any other details that may tell you whether you'll be compensated well or terribly.

Lovely. Guess they think transparency is overrated

3. Quinn Emanuel: At Quinn Emanuel, in contrast, management is fairly transparent, and communication is relatively open (at least by Biglaw standards). How many senior partners of major law firms write open letters to ATL, as John Quinn did recently?

Anyway, two pieces of news. First, yesterday QE gave supplemental bonuses today to laterals, recalculating how they pro-rated (a subject of prior controversy). Second, they provided some information -- albeit not terribly specific information -- about billable hours and 2008 bonuses. Memo after the jump.

Let's send you into the holiday weekend with some associate bonus news. Here are some law firm bonus announcements that haven't been previously covered in these pages.

(Firms that previously announced their bonuses, but are being sneaky about the exact amounts and/or the percentage of associates getting them, will be addressed separately. This post is for completely new announcements.)

Some of this news is incomplete. If you can provide more details, please email us. Thanks.

1. Akin Gump (New York): Year-end bonuses, and special bonuses to "those associates and counsel who have performed in accordance with the Firm’s expectations regarding productivity, quality of work and Firm citizenship." Plus "discretionary merit bonuses" to associates and counsel "who performed in a truly exceptional manner."

One source at the firm characterizes it as follows:

Full match in NY, with extra bonuses in certain cases (generally to billers over 2400). There has never been an hours requirement, so if past practice is any indicator, anyone not being fired will get it.

Full memo, after the jump.

2. Akin Gump (outside New York): Each associate is allowed to make the case to the firm for a big bonus. A source tells us that this practice of asking associates to write up memos to justify their bonuses started a few years ago. "I wonder how this plays into the current bonus climate, or if anyone else has to do this."

3. Hogan & Hartson (outside New York): The 2007 bonus memo appears after the jump.

4. Hogan & Hartson (New York): We've confirmed the fact that Hogan announced bonuses in New York. It was described to us as a market match. But we haven't seen a memo or the fine print of the announcement, so we can't confirm that.

Update: The bonus memo for Hogan & Hartson's New York office appears after the jump.

5. Vinson & Elkins (New York): "V&E matched the New York market bonus (including this year's special bonus) for its New York associates, to be paid on January 15, 2008. No memo yet, a voicemail."

6. Sheppard Mullin: Details after the jump.

During one of our darkest hours as a law firm associate, when we were at our most stressed and depressed, we tried to boost our morale by typing up a Word document entitled "Things I Like About My Job." Here's an excerpt:

-- My Blackberry and (free) cell phone.

-- My laptop.

-- Really good health insurance.

-- Having a secretary.

But in reality, we didn't use our secretary very much. Her primary duty was to assist us in printing out correspondence so that the text of letters fell below the sprawling firm letterhead.

We didn't know how to best utilize our secretary. And based on your emails, it seems we're not alone:

"You should do a post on secretaries. I have no idea what to do with mine other than expense reports. I think junior associates would appreciate it!"

"How about an open thread on what attorneys have their secretaries do? A lot of us first-year associates starting now have no idea how to use them. This applies to both transactional lawyers and litigators."

We're guessing our correspondents don't have this secretary.

Here are a few other topics to add to the mix:

"You really should do an ATL piece on secretaries. E.g., how many high-powered partners are run by their secretaries, with their secretaries as the gatekeepers; how many leading lawyers couldn't live without their secretaries, taking them from one position to the next."

So here's an open thread for discussion of Biglaw secretaries / administrative assistants. Any secretaries who are reading this site should feel free to chime in too -- we know you have a lot to say about your bosses. In fact, some of you could even fill a book with your gripes (see link below). Thanks.

The Diary of a Mad Legal Secretary [Amazon.com]

We regularly receive all kinds of wacky gossip related to the fall recruiting process. Some of these rumors are true, and some of them aren't.

We found this rumor, about the Chicago office of Morgan, Lewis & Bockius, quite amusing:

"I heard from a friend there that during summer associate callbacks, only students from 'good schools' get lunch. E.g., Harvard, Northwestern, University of Chicago."

"Students from Illinois, DePaul, etc. must starve. You should look into this."

Loyola (of Chicago) 2Ls: What say you?

We looked into this rumor. Alas, it appears to be untrue.

More after the jump.

We've now covered over a third of the Vault 100 law firms in open threads. But that means we still have two-thirds to go (assuming we follow through to the end).

The next five firms are colorful. They include one firm that was featured in the Transformers movie, and another that used to employ a high-priced escort.

For your consideration (in Vault 100 order, prestige scores in parentheses):

31. Paul, Hastings, Janofsky & Walker (6.545)
32. Willkie Farr & Gallagher LLP (6.352)
33. Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP (6.343)
34. Winston & Strawn LLP (6.316)
35. Dewey Ballantine LLP (6.313)

Please gossip away in the comments. Thanks.

The Vault Top 100 Law Firms [Vault]

Earlier: Vault 1-5; Vault 6-10; Vault 11-15; Vault 16-20; Vault 21-25; Vault 26-30

Earlier this year, we devoted extensive coverage to the Akin Gump Escort. She was the legal secretary at Akin Gump who worked for powerhouse lawyer John Dowd by day, and alleged D.C. madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey by night.

Courtesy of WTOP, we now know more about the close working relationship between the Akin Gump Escort and the D.C. Madam:

"Why did you do this to me? I never did anything to you."

That accusatory two-sentence e-mail from alleged D.C. madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey to an escort she considered her "little sister" and one of her most trusted confidantes came moments after Palfrey realized her assets had been frozen by the U.S. Department of the Treasury.

"My first thought because of the timing was that (Jennifer) was working with the government," writes Palfrey, in a series of e-mails to WTOP.

"Jennifer" was the name escort customers knew for a legal secretary at Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld, a prominent D.C. law firm. The woman was fired in May 2007, shortly after revealing to the firm that she had moonlighted for Palfrey's Pamela Martin & Associates between 2002 and 2006.

Fired? She should have been promoted, due to her intimate knowledge of servicing clients.

More discussion after the jump.

Here are two updates about clerkship bonuses (a subject of interest to a limited group of readers -- but those who care REALLY care):

1. Willkie Farr & Gallagher: The rumor that Willkie pays a $50,000 clerkship bonus has been confirmed. We understand this applies to both New York and Washington.

2. Akin Gump: In New York, the firm pays a $50,000 clerkship bonus. (We don't know what they do in other offices.)

In addition, one tipster calls out WilmerHale for, well, trying to pull a Latham.

If you'd like to know why WilmerHale's $35,000 clerkship bonus may not truly be a $35,000 clerkship bonus, read the rest of this post, after the jump.

We've confirmed the news that Akin Gump has raised in Texas. Here's the message from Bruce McLean, the Akin Gump chairman:

We are pleased to announce that we will be increasing associate and counsel compensation effective August 1, 2007. For first and second years, compensation will increase to $160,000 and $170,000, respectively. For subsequent years, we intend to be competitive in the market. We are in the process of determining the contours of the compensation structure for our other associate classes consistent with our Firm culture and the evolving market.

We appreciate all that you do to make this a great Firm.

In other Biglaw Texas news, Hughes & Luce is in merger talks with K&L Gates.

Hughes & Luce in Merger Talks With K&L Gates [Texas Lawyer]

Following closely on news of the Vinson & Elkins raise, Andrews Kurth has also raised salaries for first- and second-year associates, to $160,000 and $170,000, respectively. As explained in the memo, the firm is "still working on the details of the compensation structure for other associate classes." Here's an article from the Texas Lawyer.

What about other Texas firms? Here's what we've been hearing:

Baker Botts: They should raise later this week or early next week. Prior to the V&E announcement, a Baker source speculated: "[T]hey seem to be waiting on V and E. I think they might be trying to leapfrog them, hoping V and E lowballs."

Akin Gump: "They had an associates' committee meeting [yesterday] and said there were working out a few details, but they would be raising in their Texas offices sooner rather than later. Who knows what any of that means."

The Andrews Kurth memo, in the form of an email from managing partner Robert Jewell, appears after the jump.

In an earlier post about the legal secretary at Akin Gump who worked for the alleged D.C. madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey, we described the secretary as "no Miss Popularity." A source at the firm told us that "[m]ost people don't like her," due to her supercilious attitude. Various commenters echoed these views.

But a different source has more positive things to say about the Akin Gump Escort:

She was a secretary (never a paralegal) to partner John Dowd (attorney/author behind the Pete Rose gambling investigation and Rose's subsequent ban from baseball and the HoF).

[Ed. note: We previously pointed out that fact, as well as the coincidence that Dowd is now representing the fabulous Monica Goodling, back in this post.]

She was a moderately friendly, attractive woman, late 20s/early 30s, with dark blonde hair. I think she lived on a farm in southern Maryland and liked horses.

First, of course she lives in Maryland. Do you think the Akin Gump Escort would be a Virginia gal?

Second, a weakness for horses -- how clichéd. Does she enjoy long walks on the beach too?

Earlier: OMG: The Akin Gump Escort Worked For... Monica Goodling's Lawyer!!!
The D.C. Madam's Akin Gump Apprentice: She's No Miss Popularity
Akin Gump: Truly A 'Full-Service' Law Firm

What more could you ask for in a law firm? As reported by several commenters, and confirmed by the Legal Times, Akin Gump has raised starting salaries in its Washington and California offices to $160,000 (with corresponding increases up the seniority ladder).

Cynics might wonder: Is this an attempt to distract attention from the scandal of the Akin Gump Escort? Akin Gump associates might respond: Who cares? Some people subscribe to the "mo money mo problems" school of thought. But to most Biglaw associates, "mo money is mo money."

We realize, of course, that the real reason behind the Akin Gump raise is Hogan & Hartson's earlier move to $160K. We just enjoy working references to the Akin Gump Escort into as many stories as possible, no matter how gratuitous.

Even if the Akin Gump Escort Affair (hehe) played a supporting role in the timing of this raise, there would be no shame in that. Increases in associate compensation sometimes have their roots in scandal. Fallout from the Aaron Charney lawsuit, for example, may have led Sullivan & Cromwell to raise its clerkship bonus to $50,000, in anticipation of a tough fall recruiting season. That increase, of course, gave rise to clerkship bonus mania across the country, in which firms untainted by scandal ponied up more dough for law clerks.

For those of you who are curious, the Akin Gump memo appears after the jump.

P.S. Apologies for the delay in posting this news. We've been on the road for most of the evening.

Akin Jumps on the $160K Bandwagon [The BLT: The Blog of the Legal Times]

Apparently we weren't the only ones who got blue balls from felt cheated by 20/20's report last Friday on the alleged DC madam, Deborah Jeane Palfrey. Professor Ann Althouse writes:

Were you, like me duped into watching "20/20" last night to hear what names they'd name based on the big list forked over to them by Deborah Jeane Palfrey, who's accused of running a prostitution ring in Washington?

“Our decision at the end was not to name any names,” said Brian Ross, the news correspondent who presented the segment. Mr. Ross said that the network went with a “conservative approach,” and that “based on our reporting it turned out not to be as newsworthy as we thought in terms of the names.”

At least they're being honest -- it seems -- in not pretending they'd belatedly discovered some ethical compunction about it.

Like Professor Althouse, we were also duped, seduced by ABC's advertising promising a salacious broadcast. We rushed home from a party on Friday night so we wouldn't miss the 20/20 special report, which we were expecting to be sensational. We were disappointed.

Sigh. Well, at least there was a shout-out to the Akin Gump escort:

Sometimes when Palfrey was unavailable [to answer the phones], a legal secretary at one of Washington's top law firms, Akin Gump, would handle the calls as well as go out on calls herself.

Using her e-mail account at Akin Gump, the secretary told Palfrey why she wanted to be an escort: "A day a week would be fun and spa money."

And from an ATL source, here's more gossip about the Akin Gump Escort, a former secretary to powerhouse partner John Dowd, the criminal defense lawyer now representing Monica Goodling:

This secretary likes to shop at high-end stores. She also drives luxury vehicles.

An escort with a weakness for fashion and the finer things? Color us surprised.

This could, however, be advantageous for Monica Goodling. If we were John Dowd, we'd instruct the Akin Gump Escort to take Monica Goodling shopping for a new suit, before Goodling's anticipated congressional testimony.

Brian Ross Reports on the D.C. Madam [ABC News / 20/20]
ABC fakes us out about naming names [Althouse]

Here are two quick updates to our earlier coverage of Akin Gump, the prestigious D.C. law firm, where an assistant to alleged D.C. madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey worked as a legal secretary. The second of these updates is nothing short of mind-blowing.

1. As a commenter pointed out, Tom Goldstein, the head of Akin Gump's Supreme Court practice, just posted an "opening" for a "special assistant." This led some to wonder: Could the madam-in-training have worked for the Supreme Court superstar?

It wouldn't be THAT suprising. The job announcement (PDF) mentions that an appreciation for poker is helpful. And we're guessing that the secretary-cum-escort has some familiarity with that game -- or a certain variant thereof.

Sadly, however, it turns out that there is no relation between these two events. According to a source at the firm, "this opening is completely unrelated to that situation.."

2. We believe our source. We've learned that the Akin Gump temptress worked for someone even more senior at the firm -- and even more powerful.

We have confirmed, with knowledgeable sources, what was previously rumored in reader comments. The Akin Gump Escort worked for John M. Dowd, the high-powered head of the firm's criminal litigation group. From his firm bio:

Mr. Dowd has prosecuted and defended significant criminal matters at trial and in parallel proceedings before Congress and regulatory agencies for more than 30 years. His practice focuses on the trial of complex civil and criminal cases.

Mr. Dowd is noted for his representation of a U.S. district judge, a former U.S. attorney and two U.S. senators. In addition, he represented a U.S. governor in a lengthy, high-profile criminal trial involving 23 counts charging false statements, wire fraud and attempted extortion.

A judge, a U.S. attorney, some senators? YAWN. John Dowd currently represents one of Above the Law's favorite celebrities: MONICA GOODLING!!!

Does this mean that telephone and/or face-to-face conversations took place between (1) the Magnificent Monica Goodling, of U.S. Attorneygate fame, and (2) the Akin Gump Escort? Presumably Monica Goodling had to interact with the Akin Gump Escort, whenever she called John Dowd on the phone, or came to his office for a meeting.

Please excuse us for a moment. Our head is about to explode, due to fabulosity overload!!!

More discussion, after the jump.

In our recent post about an alleged D.C.-madam-in-training -- a legal secretary at the powerhouse firm of Akin Gump, who allegedly serviced clients and worked the phones for Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the alleged D.C. madam -- we asked you for more information about this hardworking and multitalented young woman.

We are still accepting your tips. We'll kick things off with this info, from a source who knows the alleged junior madam:

First, she's not a paralegal. She's just a legal secretary.

This answers the question we raised yesterday about whether she might be a paralegal rather than a secretary. In one of her emails to Deborah Jeane Palfrey, the Akin Gump employee said it would be easy to balance her work for Palfrey with her "paralegal duties."

Our tipster continues:

Second, she has the 'tude in the office that she's better than the rest. Most people don't like her.

Third, in terms of her appearance, she has the typical Barbie look: blonde, shapely, busty.

Based on this description, we're guessing that this individual worked for a high-powered partner at Akin Gump. In our experience, legal secretaries fall into two categories: the total hotties, and the total notties, with precious few in between. They're straight out of either (1) the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue or (2) a bingo hall.

The top dogs -- name partners, major rainmakers, etc. -- got the hottie secretaries. Everyone else had to just cross their fingers. So if Palfrey's right-hand-woman is blonde and busty, she probably had a powerful boss at the firm.

More discussion, after the jump.

On its official website, Akin Gump proudly bills itself as a "full-service" law firm. And it boasts: "Our growth has come by understanding client problems and solving them with a unique combination of... practical... skills."

Truer words were never spoken. From ABC News:

A legal secretary at one of Washington's most prominent and well-connected law firms, Akin Gump Strauss Houer & Feld LLP, has been suspended after telling her bosses she secretly worked at night for the escort service run by the so-called D.C. Madam, Jeane Palfrey.

The woman both serviced clients and, at times, helped to run the business, Palfrey told ABC News in an interview to be broadcast on "20/20" Friday.

The firm said it would not make her name public.

But do YOU know the name of this enterprising employee, or anything else about her? If so, we'd love to hear from you, by email (subject line: "DC Madam").

A few more comments, after the jump.

Sadly, we missed this event because we were still out of town. But yesterday morning, here in Washington, DC, the American Enterprise Institute sponsored an incendiary debate a panel discussion entitled "Are Law Firms Breaking the Law? Racial and Gender Preferences in Attorney Hiring and Promotion."

Accounts of the event are available from The BLT and the WSJ Law Blog. Here's a squib from Rob Rogers's BLT write-up:

Curt Levey of the Committee for Justice argued that law firms typically have "no viable defense" for discrimination against non-minority attorneys. Richard Sander of UCLA School of Law, whose research previously has been discussed in Legal Times' commentary articles (including here), analyzed the hardships that racial preferences can impose on their beneficiaries.

On the other side, Shirley Wilcher, president of Wilcher Global, argued that law firms have a history of discrimination to overcome and some partners still assume that minority associates aren't as qualified. Michele Roberts [at right], a partner at Akin Gump, questioned whether law-school grades (a key element in Sander's analysis) were that significant to legal success and pointed out that becoming a partner depends on other factors. (She also said that Akin Gump's minority associates do not have substantially lower grades.)

We also had a source in the audience. Our tipster's thoughts -- reader discretion advised, no punches are pulled -- appear after the jump.

Sorry for the technical difficulties. Happily, we're now back online.

Akin Gump has announced its compensation scheme for New York and Washington offices (and perhaps others; these are the ones we've confirmed).

Pay scales for Akin Gump, after the jump.