He’s the best employee I’ve got and I don’t have to pay his health insurance.
Lawyers and Las Vegas are a dangerous combination. Just ask the lawyer who allegedly inflicted almost $100,000 in damage on a suite at the Encore Hotel.
Sin City seduces law students too. We’ve extensively covered the sad story of how three Berkeley law students, while visiting Vegas on spring break, killed a helmeted guinea fowl named “Turk” at the wildlife habitat of the Flamingo Hotel.
Two of the students, Eric Cuellar and Hazhir Kargaran, already pleaded guilty. So it should come as no surprise — with his co-defendants having cut deals, and with reported video footage of the incident as possible evidence — that Justin Teixeira copped a plea as well.
What kind of sentence did Teixeira get? It doesn’t sound that bad to me….
* The Am Law 200 rankings are out, and the difference between the First Hundred and Second Hundred Biglaw firms has been described as “stark.” Check out who made the grade here. [American Lawyer]
* Many Biglaw attorneys are sharks, but at Crowell & Moring, a firm with a duck as its mascot, at least they’ve got hearts. They’re awaiting the birth of little ducklings outside of their office. [Washington Post]
* Want to know at which law school you’ll get the biggest bang for your buck? Want to see which law school is best at financial efficiency? You may be surprised at some of the schools on this list. [Morse Code / U.S. News & World Report]
* No, silly, he wasn’t being an antisocial gunner, he just wasn’t old enough to go to the bar with you. Harvard Law recently graduated one of its youngest African-American students ever. [Boston Globe]
* A legal Hail Mary? Joe Paterno’s family, former Penn State football players, and select members of the school’s board of trustees are suing the NCAA over its Sandusky sanctions. [Legal Intelligencer]
* A woman is suing MAC after she allegedly picked up the gift that keeps on giving from Rihanna’s lipstick: herpes! Chris Brown, don’t hurt me for implying it was from Rihanna. [New York Daily News]
- Animal Law, Barack Obama, Blank Rome, Craigslist, Fast Food, Intellectual Property, Job Searches, Labor / Employment, Law Firm Mergers, Law Schools, Non-Sequiturs, Politics
* Burger King sells burgers by celebrating that they are built with fictional union labor while actively interfering with workers forming real unions. This would be too much hypocrisy for some, but Burger King gets to have it its way. [Buzzfeed]
* I cannot top the subject line from the tipster: “Obama calls the nation to arms on trade secret theft, but the nation is at the mall.” [Orrick]
* A review of Logan Beirne’s new book Blood of Tyrants: George Washington & the Forging of the Presidency (affiliate link). I wonder what George Washington would say if the Senate blocked his judicial nominees? [Washington Times]
* Step One: Collect cash from government for doing business in downtown Manhattan. Step Two: “Close” the firm and move all the partners and cases to Blank Rome. Step Three: Refuse to pay back the money. [Thompson Reuters News & Insight]
* Be nicer to the sea cows! [Lowering the Bar]
* This Craigslist job posting under “Legal/Paralegal Jobs” in San Diego: Accidental listing or sadly prophetic commentary on the legal job market? Just in case someone removes the listing, I’ll post a screenshot after the jump…
- Animal Law, Barack Obama, Biglaw, Boalt Hall, Cocaine / Crack, D.C. Circuit, Death Penalty, Drugs, Eric Holder, Federal Judges, Gay, Media and Journalism, Morning Docket, Murder, Tax Law, Trials
* “Journalists should not be at legal risk for doing their jobs.” Thanks Obama, but AG Eric Holder was the one who kind of signed off on the James Rosen search warrant. [Open Channel / NBC News]
* The chief judge of the D.C. Circuit apologized for a lack of transparency in the James Rosen probe, and this is one of the least embarrassing things that happened this week. [Washington Post]
* Despite having “done nothing wrong,” embattled tax official Lois Lerner announced she’s been placed on administrative leave in light of recent events. I salute you, fellow WNE grad. [National Review]
* Watch out, patent trolls, because this proposed bill might actually be — gasp! — helpful. If enacted, the Patent Abuse Reduction Act’s goal is to help keep discovery costs down. [Hillicon Valley / The Hill]
* It’s a hell of a drug: for some lawyers, the sequester won’t be such a bad thing after all, because Coast Guard and Navy forces won’t be available to intercept 38 tons of cocaine. [Breaking Defense]
* Proskauer Rose’s ex-CFO, Elly Rosenthal, has cut down her $10 million suit against the firm to just one allegation. She claims the firm fired her solely for her diagnosis of breast cancer. [Am Law Daily]
* A third perpetrator emerged in the Berkeley bird beheading case, and he was just sentenced to two days in jail. Can you listen to BARBRI in a jail cell? I guess Hazhir Kargaran will find out. [San Francisco Chronicle]
* The Boy Scouts of America will now admit openly gay youths into their ranks for the first time in the history of ever. You should probably “be prepared” for a flurry of litigation over this. [New York Times]
* A mistrial was declared in the penalty phase of the Jodi Arias murder trial. Ugh, come on with this, the Lifetime movie is already in post-production! How on earth are they going to work this in? [CNN]
Finals time is upon us once again, and that means law students are about to reach their breaking points. Perhaps that outline you got in exchange for hooking up with a 3L wasn’t very helpful, or maybe you missed one too many classes to know what the hell’s going to be on the test. Whichever way you slice it, you think you’re going to be screwed.
Luckily, your law school’s administration is well aware of the situation, and to try to alleviate some of the stress, law schools are offering students relief in the form of food, massages, and puppies. These are just some of the perks of an education that costs up to six figures to complete.
Come on, wouldn’t you rather snuggle with a cute and cuddly animal instead of grabbing a handful of your poop and smearing it all over the walls? Let’s see what law schools are doing to prevent their students from losing their sh*t — literally….
In 2010, police in Des Moines, Washington (fun fact: pronounced “də·moinz,” with a “z” sound at the end, unlike the Iowa version), twice Tasered a 4-year-old Newfoundland dog named Rosie, chased it out of its yard, and then shot it four times — with an ASSAULT RIFLE. This was an act of unchecked police brutality that made the Rodney King cops say, “Hey, hold on now.”
And the city recognized this and offered the dog’s owners $51,000.
But a federal judge jumped in and basically doubled the payout, accused the city’s attorneys of having “terrible writing,” and that’s not even the worst charge he levels….
- 8th Circuit, American Bar Association / ABA, Animal Law, Boalt Hall, Confirmations, Federal Judges, Immigration, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, SCOTUS, Stephen Breyer, Supreme Court
* On this episode of Supreme Court Retirement Watch, we learn that for whatever reason, Justice Breyer is “having the time of his life,” and so once again, all eyes are upon Justice Ginsburg. Maybe in 2015, folks. [The Hill]
* How unusual that a federal judge would see a confirmation in less than three months. If only Chuck Grassley owed favors to all of the nominees. Congratulations to Jane Kelly, now of the Eighth Circuit. [Legal Times]
* Thanks to an unprecedented ruling from Judge Dolly Gee, mentally disabled immigrants facing deportation will receive government-paid legal representation. New law school clinics, assemble! [New York Times]
* “Among the things the ABA is working on, this may be the most important.” Too bad the Task Force on the Future of Education seems to suffer from too many cooks in kitchen. [National Law Journal]
* Another one bites the dust: Team Strauss/Anziska’s lawsuit against Brooklyn Law School over its allegedly phony employment statistics has been dismissed. Sad trombone. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]
* Justin Teixeira, one of the Berkeley law students accused in the Las Vegas bird beheading, waived an evidentiary hearing so the media couldn’t squawk about video images they’d see. [Crimesider / CBS News]
Animals are cool. People are a-holes. Any bill that prevents people from senselessly harming animals is a good thing.
The natural enemy of the family dog is the local cop. Some of the stories we hear about cops shooting dogs, man, it’s like they don’t even try to deal with the animal reasonably. They shoot first and put the leash on later. I get that some people are just irrationally afraid of dogs, but cops are armed and in stressful situations. And since “dog murder” isn’t really a thing, there’s no incentive for cops to hold their fire.
We’ve reported in the past about how jury awards are going up when cops are found to recklessly kill family pets. But money cannot replace the companionship of a best friend.
Now, one state is trying to take more decisive action by requiring cops to learn how to deal with “short, hairy children”….
While working as a contributor to this publication, I wrote about Florida’s decision to put up a couple grand to see if they could coax a ton of folks into the swamp to kill invasive Burmese Pythons ($1500 for killing the most, and $1000 for killing the biggest). To recap, Floridian snake lovers bought non-native Burmese Pythons over the course of several years and then lost or willfully set them loose in the wild, where they proceeded to breed like rabbits… if rabbits were capable of pumping out 80 offspring at once.
And now the contest is over. So how did it go? Well, experts estimate there are about 150,000 Burmese Pythons in the Florida swamps, 1,567 people applied to take part in the hunt, and over the last month, they managed to kill….